Who Knows Where the Time Goes

Is it just me, or do you also sometimes feel like while time may be linear, your life definitely isn’t – you instead are spinning around and around, going in endless circles.

I will be the first to admit that keeping up with it all and still managing to find time for myself is one of my greatest challenges – and I know that I’m not alone in this.

We want to do it all. And yet it’s impossible, isn’t it? But we still push forward dreaming of the day when we will reach the goal – everything will be checked off, put in its place, cleaned, and organized. I am here to say that it’s a futile goal – and more than that, it’s a dangerous goal. It’s a goal that continually keeps us one step ahead of now. By continually looking into the future, we’re missing out on the present. We’re missing out on our lives.

And this makes me so sad, actually.

We all mean well – too well, I think. We want to do it right, keep up, be the best…and we are pushing and pushing ourselves until there is nothing left to give – until we are completely void of our life source.

That’s where I am today.

I am a writer. I know this for sure. I process my thoughts through the written word. But I don’t always take time each day to do this, which means that I am continually out of touch with myself – not clear at all how I am feeling about my life and my place in this world.

When I don’t check in with myself through writing, I feel as though I am not completely exhaling. I feel a tightness that can only go away when the typing begins. That is when I come alive. So why am I not doing this every single day? Why do I make all of this other stuff so much more important?

Because I am running. It can be scary to sit still – to truly be with yourself without any distractions. It can be pretty intense when you listen to your soul and realize that you aren’t living the life you know you need to be living. It can hurt to realize these things. And so it’s easier to feel like time is spinning and life is speeding up. It’s easier to blame it on our fast-paced culture and all of the to-dos, rather than admitting that you are making a choice. You are deciding to be a part of it all. And you can also decide to step out of it – for a moment, for an hour, for a day – whatever feels right for you.

So this is what I am doing now by writing this piece. I “should” be working on orders. I “should” be doing a lot of other things other than this. And I am choosing to be here. This is exactly where I need to be. I deserve to breathe – I deserve to be still. I deserve this space.

And so do you.

Do you also feel caught up in the busyness of the world to the point where you aren’t taking time for yourself? What is one thing you can commit to doing each day that would help you reconnect with your soul?

We are in the driver’s seat. We have the power to choose the kind of life we want to be living. Let’s choose a life where we matter – a life where we can fully exhale.