How to Repair a Marriage - The Five Do’s and Don’ts

Marriage doesn’t promise pure bliss. It only assures you can take the lifetime roller-coaster ride. With those lines being said, it isn’t surprising for a couple to be at each other’s throats. However, when most of your days are spent fighting over serious and trivial matters, it will most likely lead you to a marital malady. It may be simpler to just sign the divorce documents but if you brave the storm and find ways on how to fix a marriage, it can mean one less heartbreaking story in the world.

Enumerated below are five do’s and don’ts in keeping your marriage intact.

Communicate, don’t blame.

When you’re at the bottommost part of your ride, you need to identify the root cause of your problem. In discussing your ideas, don’t just burst out your feelings and think of what to say next. Communication consists of a speaker and a receiver. It’s impossible if you don’t take time to listen wholeheartedly. Stay calm, keep your temper and be objective as possible. Don’t blame the other for his or her mistakes as it can put him or her to the defensive side.

Solve, don’t hold grudges.

When couples argue, they sometimes bring up the previous issues over and over again. This won’t help as you’re like a supervisor building up a case for someone ought to be fired. Instead, concentrate on solving the existing problem and let go of the burden of the past. It would be heavy if you cling to them. Since the past is behind you, the best way to deal with it is to learn from it.

Explore, don’t be cold.

Having a satisfying sex life creates a great impact in your married life. For men who produce plenty of sexual hormones called testosterone, lovemaking can be an outlet of his emotions. For women who are naturally nurturing, hugging and kissing can be an avenue for them to reach out. Hence, lack of sex or lack of excitement means dissatisfaction of a bodily need and emotional desire. So be adventurous and intimate. Who knows, your how-to-fix-a-marriage issue can be eased by a good exercise.

Strengthen, don’t be passive.

Reinforce your relationship by weaving more unforgettable moments together. Follow a regular dating schedule, plan a getaway trip to an island, stroll in the park or do anything that will let you look into your partner’s eyes and rekindle your love for each other. This isn’t really hard as you’ve been through a lot of this before you got married. If you got thrilled before, you’ll appreciate it more after realizing you still have each other after all these years.

Hope, don’t be pessimistic.

For Steve Pavlina, the law of attraction says that you attract into your life whatever you think about. So when things fall into place, cross your fingers and pray that the wind will blow the next storm away from you. If it can’t be helped, pray that the trials you encounter each day will make you stronger. Don’t fear that your relationship will collapse in your next earthquake. If you think so, it might actually happen. Instead, support each other and remember Eleonor Roosevelt’s lines, “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself. ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’"

More often than not, knowing how to fix a marriage is much easier than executing the suggestions. But if both the husband and the wife are determined enough to keep their union alive, they will certainly make it. If it still fails, there won’t be any room for regrets because you’ve given it your best shot.