Stop "Shoulding" All Over Yourself!
Did you ever notice that we often do or don't do things because we are worried about what others will think? It's kind of silly if you think about it, but I know so many of us are guilty of it! It takes a lot of work and self-awareness to really start to change that.
So I am giving you the gift of sight and awareness right now. Check in with yourself throughout the day and notice how often you are saying "yes" when you mean "no" and also take a look at your life and ask yourself what you would do if you weren't worried about what others thought.
Here is another great piece of advice:
"What would the 70 year-old "you" tell you to do?"
Really...Wouldn't you be more inclined to take a chance- at love, happiness or adventure? I know that 70 year-old would tell you that life is too short to put up with unkind people that disrespect you- you would say that you deserve better!
What are you constantly telling yourself that you "should" or "shouldn't do"? And does it really matter? This is your one life- a gift to be cherished and appreciated. Don't put yourself on the "shelf" of life and watch life pass you by. Take chances, believe in yourself, believe in love and happiness.
So often it is our fear of failure that gets in the way of pursuing our passions. But even with this, I encourage you to explore where this fear is stemming from. Perhaps it was a family member, peer, teacher or colleague that made a negative comment about you. It is time to take back your life and explore your passions and desires. All too often people put us down because of their own fears, small thinking and low-self esteem. If someone is going to be angry or disappointed with you for following your dreams or pursing a passion I really encourage you to reexamine that relationship. It is imperative that you surround yourself with loving, encouraging and supportive individuals. Pay attention to how you feel when you spend time with your friends and loved ones. Do you feel encouraged and supported or stifled and defeated?
As Dr. Seuss so wisely put it:
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
Make your life yours and stop living by the standards of everyone else around you. Often you will find that your self-confidence will grow and so will your relationships because you won't be carrying around that large bag of resentment with you!
Let go and be free to be you!
Elizabeth Cappelletti is a Marriage & Family Therapist and co-author of the books "Raising Healthy Children & Teenagers" and "Getting it Right: A Guide to Healthy Relationships". Cappelletti was the host of "The Holistic Show"- a television show aimed at teaching people how to have a happy, healthy and successful life. She has been working with the media as a Holistic Health expert, helping to inform the public about various psychological issues. These include press interviews, radio and T.V. appearances.
Cappelletti uses a holistic approach to improving peoples lives by encompassing the thoughts, feelings, and emotions as well as physical health, nutrition and interpersonal relationships of an individual. She has experience working with children, adolescents, families, and individuals struggling with a range of emotional issues, such as depression, stress and anger management to name a few.
Cappelletti has a Master's degree in Clinical Psychology from Pepperdine University and a certificate in Art & Creativity for Healing from Chapman University. She has been affiliated with Long Beach Veterans Hospital, Orange County Child Abuse Prevention Center, A Light in the Window, STAR View Community Services, Providence Community Services, Pepperdine Community Counseling Center, F.A.M.I.L.Y. Rules, and Pacific Child & Family Associates.
Cappelletti provides individual, couples and family therapy as well as public speaking.