Treat Yourself Right After Divorce

Let's Clean Up Your Trash After Divorce!

Divorce can leave you with a lot of left over trash, both emotional and physical. Think about how we treat our homes after spring cleaning. How do we nurture our landscaping after the rubbish and remnants of a brutal winter? We treat our floors and furniture superior and spend extra effort watering our grass and feeding our flowers. Why? Because cleaning and taking out the trash symbolize a pure, new beginning. There are some great ways to treat yourself better after a divorce and it starts with getting rid of your trash. You will feel so great after you clean up your emotional trash and be ready to embrace life and whatever rubbish comes your way. Let’s face it, as stated in my book, Taking Out The Trash, “this is life and our garbage accumulates every single day. The question is, “How will we deal with it?” Just keep it organized, tidy and don’t let it overflow!” This way you can focus on you. Honestly, if you don’t spiff yourself up, how can you be good for anyone else?

Tip #1 Clean Up Your Head

Divorce leaves us with a head full of nasty thoughts, bad beliefs about ourselves and fictitious assumptions of failure. It does not matter who wanted the divorce, the experience is exhausting. It clogs our head and soils our brain. Take a duster and clean up this mess! How can you have the head for all of the great stuff that is yet to come if you don’t tidy up all the muck scattered about in your brain?

The best way to clear your head is to spend some time alone taking care of you. Meditation is great, a nice long walk or simply sitting quietly and coming to peace with yourself. Think happy thoughts! Filling your head with all of the negative remnants of the divorce will not change what happened. Stay positive and enjoy being alone with YOU. If you don’t like being in your own company, who else will?

Tip #2 Clean Up Your Heart

I still feel the ache of my divorce. I remember that terrible day. We stood in front of the judge as we stood together as man and wife on our wedding day. It was heart breaking and I don’t wish it on my worst enemy. The heart needs to mend. We need to throw away that deep hurt and start feeling good emotions. Being down, brings you down. The best thing to do is start feeling good about ourselves. Purify the heart and let those awesome feelings flow again. If you don’t feel good about yourself, how can you be good for anyone else?

Know you are a good person, feel good both inside and out. A great way to feel good about yourself is to throw away some old clothes, get a new haircut or do something that makes you feel like the “new you”.

Tip #3 Clean Up Your Past

Your past can ruin any shot of you moving forward after your divorce. This is the most fun to clean up! Get rid of anything around you or around your house that signifies bad memories from your divorce and your past life. Rearrange your furniture, treat yourself to some new pictures and new looks around your house. Take pictures, cards, notes, bills, ANYTHING and take them out with the trash! There is a great quote from an old Sex and The City episode, on HBO, that states “You can’t have a future with your past still present!”

Leave your old thoughts, feelings and memories out at the curb with your trash. Start creating new happy memories. Being happy with yourself, in your own surroundings, is better than anyone treating you poorly or sharing an unhappy life. Enjoy your alone time, friends, and family. Once your head, your heart and your past are all cleaned up, you will be ready to embrace everything you ever deserved and everything you ever dreamed of. We are always going to have our own trash. Life can throw you serious garbage, divorced or not. Just stay strong, learn how to stay dirt free and don’t let your trash pile up!