How to Coach Naughty Kids to Positive Behavior

Consider some things, good or bad, that people do. Putting a seatbelt on every time you get into a car is necessary for your safety, and that is why you started doing it, but it has also become a habit and now you don't even think of it when you get into a car. You just do it. Checking for people behind you when going through a store door is polite, but it has also become a habit. You check without even thinking. This may also be true of your child's negative behavior. Even though she wants to change it, it is difficult to even remember to do so because she is so used to doing it.

When we work to end negative patterns and behaviors we open up new pathways, and we want all the pathways possible opened up for our children. For instance, if a child has a negative pattern when it comes to getting homework done, then their grades will suffer. Changing this negative pattern into something positive will open up a whole new world of possibilities for them. One NLP technique is called the "swish pattern"and is ideal for helping your child eliminate bad habits and create momentum for moving ahead into a bright future.

The swish pattern is easy to use. Here's how:

1. Have your child bring an image of the negative behavior into her mind. Have her imagine it is right in front of her and in great detail. This behavior could be being late for class, not doing homework, or picking on other kids.

2. Create the image of the desired behavior in the distance. This could be walking into class on time everyday, a fabulous report card, or laughing and getting along with other kids.

3. Have your child rapidly push the negative image away to the horizon and very quickly replace it with the desired image. She can make a swishing sound while she does this if she wishes.

4. Have her leave that image in its new place for a few moments in order for it to "settle" there.

5. Have your child clear her mind and have it become neutral.

6. Repeat the exercise.

After repeating this exercise a few times, ebery time she thinks of her undone homework, it will be immediately replaced by the image of the possible good report card if she does her homeowrk. Every time she thinks of a kid she wants to pick on, it will immediately be replaced by an image of her getting along with this child. This will happen automatically, as long as the technique has been practiced sufficiently.