Relationships: Do Some People Try To Understand Others In Order To Avoid Themselves?

When someone has the tendency to attract people who are not right for them, it can cause them to suffer. This can be something that will consume their whole life, and it will then stop them from being able to experience a fulfilling existence.
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Alternatively, they could end up turning their back on this area of their life, and put all of their energy into their career, for instance. Through doing this, one may find that it doesn’t take them long to move forward.
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Independent

After a while, one could come to see themselves as being independent, and say that they don’t need anyone else to make them happy. Having this outlook will make it easier for them to keep the pain that is within them at bay.

Even so, this doesn’t mean that they will always be able to do this, as it could come to the surface from time to time. This could be a time when they will do something to avoid how they feel, or they could end up looking for someone to be with.

An Escape

And in today’s world, it is not going to be a challenge for them to find a way to disconnect from how they feel. There is the chance that they will end up having a casual encounter.

They could do this by going out, or they could simply find someone on an internet dating site. This may fulfil their sexual needs, but it is unlikely to do much else, and it could remind them of how they much want to be with someone.

Two Sides

Once this has taken place, they can feel better for a short while, and then as time passes, they can end up feeling even worse than they did before. They could even feel as though they have lowered themselves through doing this.

Yet, if they don’t do this, they could end up reaching out for some kind of alcohol. At the same time, one could just stay focused on their work and they might soon feel different.

Reaching Out

If one was to look for someone to be with, it might only be a matter of time before they are single again. It could take a number of weeks or months for them to recover, and this could be a time when they will feel hopeless, amongst other things.

Or, they could find a way to avoid this pain, and it is then not going to be long until they are back on their feet. Due to what they have been through (yet again), they could say that they won’t open themselves up again.

An Important Need

But, as soon as they begin to settle down and the experience is no longer as fresh in their mind, they could be on the lookout once more. What this comes down to is that this need won’t simply disappear.

They will be able to cover it up, but it will always be there, and the sooner they are able to change their circumstances, the better their life will be. If their friends are in a relationship, they could tell them that they just need to be patient.

Support

There could also be moments when one will look towards these people and see them as weak, and this could occur when they have disconnected from their needs. Unlike these people, they will believe that they can handle life by themselves.

Therefore, instead of having to feel as though as though they are not good enough, they can rise above other people. If this was to take place, it is likely to be a way for them to avoid how they feel.

Another Option

However, if one didn’t take this route and they were to continue to look for someone even though they attract the wrong people, they could spend a lot of time trying to understand their behaviour. And even if they were with someone, they could still do the same thing.

It is then not going to matter what their relationship status is, as they will be focused on the same thing. One could believe that once they understand why the people they end up with act as they do, their life will change.

The Reason

Based on this, it is going to be essential for them to find out what is going on for these people. If they were to think about why this is so important, it could be seen as a way for them to put their mind at rest.

In addition to this, they may believe that it will give them the insight they need so they can change their behaviour. As if they knew what they were doing wrong, they would be able to change their behaviour.

A Distraction

But while this can seem like the logical thing to do, it can stop one from being able to change their life. Ultimately, they are the ones who keep attracting the same people, and so it might be better for them to look into what is taking place within them.

Through focusing on what other people have done or are doing, it can be a way for them to avoid themselves. If they were to get in touch with what it taking place within them, it could cause them to experience a lot of pain.

Awareness

This pain won’t last forever though; whereas if they were to focus on why other people behave as they do, their life is unlikely to change. Now, this is not to say that there is not a time and a place to do this; what it comes down to is that if this is the only thing that takes place, they will be out of balance.

When it comes to getting in touch with and working through what is taking place within them, they might need to work with a therapist.