Relationships: Do Some People Analyse Others In Order To Avoid Themselves?

While it could be said that there are some people who are highly curious, it could also be said that there are others who are the complete opposite. This is not to say that this is something that is black and white; as there are going to be people who fall into the middle of the spectrum.

There are also likely to be moments where someone changes, and this could be because they feel different. What this shows is that although human beings are creates of habit, they can still change their behaviour.

Curious

When someone is curious, it can cause them to look into why people do the things they do. They are not going to take things at face value, and this is because they want to look a little deeper.

This is not to say that they will always find out why something takes place, but then, this might not bother them. Thinking about why someone has done something might be enough, and then it won’t matter whether they are able to find out why.

The Other Side

However, when someone is not curious, they might not be interested in why people do the things that they do. The behaviour of others is then taken at face value and that’s as far as it goes.

They may believe that looking into why people do things is a waste of energy, and they may say that it is not possible to find out. This could cause them to criticise people who do look a little deeper.

Pure Intentions

When someone is interested in why people do the things that they do, it could be because they are simply interested in people. In this case, it could be sad that their intentions are generally pure, and that they are not out to manipulate others.

Conversely, there are also going to be people who have a hidden agenda, and their reason for looking deeper will be to gain the upper hand. Being curious is a tool for the first person and a weapon for the second person.

Pain

There are also going to be moments where someone looks into someone’s behaviour in order to regulate their inner pain. They may have been let down or hurt by someone, and this has then created a need within them to find out why the other person did what they did.

And if they are unable to ask the person directly, it could create an ever greater need for them to understand. What this means is that their need to understand another is way for them to settle themselves down.

Emotional Reaction

However, although one has experienced an emotional reaction and this has caused them to analyse someone, it doesn’t mean they are aware of what has happened. They might just end up in a position where they are obsessed with another person.

If they are aware of what is taking place within them, it will be possible for them to take a more balanced approach. For one thing, they won’t need to be obsessed with what someone is or isn’t doing, and they may find it easier to move on.

Avoidance

Yet, if someone is unaware of what is taking place within them, and they are doing everything they can to try and find out why something has happened, it might not be possible for them to move on. This is because they are caught up in the other person’s life, and this is causing them to avoid themselves.

On one side, this is stopping them from looking at the part they may be playing in what has happened, and on the other, this is keeping their pain at bay. This shows is that the primary reason they are interested in why something has happened is because they don’t want to face how they feel.

Out of the Mind

In order for someone to let go of their minds obsessive need to analyse someone, it will be important for them to get out of their mind and into their body. When they are aware of how they feel, it will give them the chance to look into why their mind is so active.

It could be said that their obsessive need to analyse someone is a defence mechanism their mind is using to avoid being overwhelmed with pain. Once their body has started to settle down, their mind will no longer need to be so active.

Example

If one is analysing the person they were in a relationship with, it may be a way for them to avoid the loss that is within them. And even if they find out why the relationship came to an end, it doesn’t mean that they will be able to accept what happened.

Their mind can still end up going over what took place, and they may begin to feel as though their mind is out of control. This may be a sign that they need to grieve the loss of their relationship.

Awareness

One may find that they are able to get in touch with how they feel and to work through their feelings. Yet, if this is something they are unable to do, it will be important for them to seek external support, and this can be provided by a therapist and/or a support group, for example.