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Can we bring justice to family courts? That’s a highly political question, and I think the answer has more to do with the nature of the human beings behind the system and the misconceptions of those using the system to seek safety.
We hear of battered women falling through the cracks of ... Views:719
Women say, I was glad when he hit me, because I finally realized what was on my plate. I finally got it. This is abuse!
Do you need the altercations in your home to become physical before you can see them for what they are? If so, you could be making your remedy more difficult, more ... Views:1249
Breaking the spirit of people I am sad to say is an accepted method of control in our society. It is done in some cases as part of a regimen of discipline, by others unwittingly as they are not aware of their own destructive powers. People do it to other people and humans do it to animals.
... Views:12125
Do what you’re called to do and the universe will support you. You’ve probably heard this, but may be scratching your head thinking about your bills, responsibilities and all of the what ifs...
This is understandable. So rather than jump in with blind faith, I want to invite your ... Views:1148
When divorce and domestic violence are before the court, the children can often serve as the vehicle for the perpetrator to save face and maintain control over the family. Sound familiar?
If you are in family court with an abusive partner, or abusive ex-partner, and there are children ... Views:907
I have found in my research that often survivors do not know that their problems are related to experiences of sexual abuse in their past. In fact, in my research six of the ten participants did not link their psychiatric disturbances to their history of sexual abuse. They were completely ... Views:1093
What is the difference between “being abusive” and “being an abuser?” I hear this question by people trying to determine if they are entangled in intimate partner violence, even when they don’t know this term. What they want to know is: Am I in a dangerously abusive ... Views:821
Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock…
Right. No time for hanging around today.
Lots to do, so let’s get organized.
First things first.
Make a list.
Now where’s my note pad. I know I left it here somewhere.
Isn’t it amazing how things just disappear around here?
I ... Views:1748
A common question people have about individuals in abusive relationships is: why do they stay? A more perplexing question to bystanders looking in is: why do they go back? And moreover, why do they go back again and again and again?
It is estimated that a domestic abuse survivor will return to ... Views:933
Parents are often the instruments of change for adult children in abusive relationships. And at the same time, they can also impede the change process.
The Process Yields the Result
Psychotherapy is a process; it’s not an injection. Even though there are psychotherapeutic techniques ... Views:774
The journey of recovery from sexual abuse can often be a journey of pain that over time may become hopeful longing and turns towards the end into delight. Even though most survivors understand recovery as a lifelong process, a significant milestone is usually achieved when coping without ... Views:1003
A 12-year old South Carolina boy was shot and killed while trick or treating on October 31. Members of his family were shot and injured.
Werner Lippe, a 66-year old jeweler, has confessed to killing his wife and disposing of the body.
Four men have been charged with the deadly shooting of ... Views:1301
The value of the diagnostic label has more to do with the way it impacts the person with the condition than anything else.
Can you remember a time in your life when you had a medical condition and you received a diagnosis that immediately lifted the weight off your shoulders and sent you to ... Views:689
Just the other day someone made the statement that child sexual abuse is normal because it happens so oft en. Maybe it’s only a problem because we (society) make such a big deal out of it.
Well, that was quite a challenge that turned quickly into a heated discussion. I can understand though, ... Views:2220
Domestic abuse is not uncommon. According to a 1998 Commonwealth Fund survey almost one-third of American women have reported being physically abused by a husband or boyfriend sometime in their lives. 30% of Americans claim to know a woman who has been a victim of domestic abuse. All races are ... Views:2213
Chemical dependency has been beaten like a dead horse. There are causal theories from genetic predisposition to various theories of learning, which has contributed greatly to a social construction of reality--a clearing that needs to be re-visioned. Discussed here will be psychological and depth ... Views:7170
It’s no secret that we use our adulthood to work out our unfinished business with our parents. And when domestic violence is on our plate we may even see it as an opportunity to get even.
Young people in abusive relationships sometime remain in these relationships because their parents ... Views:724
It is well know that only about 7% of communication is expressed in language. 93% of all communication is expressed in body language, facial expression, and tone of voice. That means the better you are able to ‘read’ the other person’s non-verbal expressions, the better you will be at connecting ... Views:1286
Now that I have your attention, allow me to explain why I know, beyond any reasonable doubt, that our choices and decisions either make or break our true destiny and purpose in God. If you are not where you want to be, there is still hope for you. My purpose is to exhort women leaders and others ... Views:1711
The moment the verbal assault springs off his/her tongue, the natural reflex is “ouch.” Correct? But lucky for you, it doesn’t have to be.
Let’s face it, you cannot control what’s up with another person, much less what they dish out, but you certainly can control ... Views:1951
Research * has shown that survivors of sexual abuse often feel support and understanding is missing when they disclose having been abused. Research has also shown that survivors who are not getting appropriate support when they disclose having been abused are more prone to develop post traumatic ... Views:4071
To decide during childhood, whether as an ideal from a dream or fantasy, or from being impressed or influenced by others in the community, to delve into the netherworld of drugs and alcohol--actually choosing to live a life of chaos is one of those mysteries of human behavior. Most addicts do ... Views:6966
We know the drama of domestic abuse from the outside looking in, as it is popularized by the media and by entertainment mediums. But the silent insidious inner deaths that take place are more pervasive and, and in some cases, more debilitating for the domestic abuse survivor.
What are the inner ... Views:801
Abusive women put their men in the doghouse when they are misbehaving. And the shame these men feel is no different than that felt by battered women.
It’s a shame that has many dimensions:
a) I let my partner down.
b) I don’t measure up to my partner’s expectations and/or ... Views:804
Violence in the family is a major source of teen female violence. The future well-being of a society is directly linked to its ability to care for and educate its young. Families that cannot successfully care for their young, nurture the seeds of future violence and criminality. Until we learn ... Views:1536
Domestic violence survivors often wonder what next? Now, that I’m no longer defined by my role in my “other life,” then what next... Who is this person? What is this person? What ought this person be doing with her life?
In some respects this pondering is typical of battered ... Views:777
The truck I stole to have a place to sleep was a white Toyota with yellow and orange stripes, lifted with fat tires and no power steering. Everything I owned was stuffed into a dark green hefty trash bag, including a birthday card my mom had managed to get to me when I had turned 16. At the ... Views:1585
This information is a purposeful broadcast.
What is Narcissism? Narcissism is an unhealthy focus on self that affects others in unhealthy ways. Everyone to some extent is narcissistic. Most people ‘want the good stuff’ and from a psychological point of view: everything we do is for some ... Views:12867
A frantic mother of a 15 year old daughter of a local suburban neighborhood tells her therapist that her daughter has quit the cheerleading squad, no longer dreams of college and becoming a lawyer, and her childhood friends have been replaced with friends she has never met. Her daughter has ... Views:2914
Critical thinking (sometimes referred to as directed thinking) is purposeful, reasoned and goal directed--it is thought and knowledge and the relationship between them. To break it down more: the critical component is the evaluation that is most often agreed upon, and thinking is obtaining the ... Views:9642
This book review is part of a series that covers the topic of Abuse and Recovery. Abuse and Recovery deals with countering and overcoming physical and mental harm of any degree or severity. Kathryn Seifert is the Official Guide to Abuse and Recovery.
How Children Become Violent, by Kathryn ... Views:1062
Physical abuse is abuse involving contact intended to cause feelings of intimidation, pain, injury, or other physical suffering or harm.
Psychological abuse or emotional abuse is a form of abuse characterised by a person subjecting or exposing another to behaviour that is psychologically ... Views:1012
What is the essence of addiction from a scientific standpoint? What facts support the foundation that supposes that an “addict” has no control and that free will has nothing to do with their ability to stop? What indicates that without help, they have little or no hope of recovering, from this ... Views:1976
The anti-social nature of drug addiction results in a "Life-Style". The addict becomes out-of-synch with the social structure in which he must live. Addicts begin to associate only with other addicts or drug dealers and then transcend into the subculture of drug use. Paranoia triggered by ... Views:4099
Straight off the top… Addicts for one reason or another, have a problem coping with every day life in our Society! Drugs fill some void in their life, family or personality. A large number of people, who progress to the stage of drug use that is Addiction, are self-medicating! Many Addicts’ ... Views:1567
For lots of student, sex is part of the college experience. For better or worse, decisions about sex (whether or not to do it, with whom, and when) are thought about and talked about a lot.
"I didn't plan on sleeping with anyone when I went to that party. This morning I woke and there was a ... Views:753
I have been asked the other day whether people need to go to a psychotherapist or counsellor to recover from sexual abuse. I think that is a really good question. Does a person need therapy to heal? I don't think it is necessary to go to a psychotherapist or counsellor. However, they need ... Views:901
One of the most essential steps in healing and recovery is to take back your personal Creator given power. First, you must come to the realization that taking back your personal power is possible and necessary. Realize that the only person you can change is yourself. You have the ability to ... Views:1955
Rape can have a devastating effect on a person’s life. Some of that effect can be easy to identify. It is not uncommon for people to have difficulty in sexual relationships, trusting, feeling an irrational sense of guilt amongst may other things. How else can it affect a person’s life? Can a ... Views:2759
Background
While many behavioral and psychiatric disorders have a biological base, they may also have roots in early childhood maltreatment and in exposure to violence. The overlap between behavioral /psychiatric disorders and histories of childhood trauma is greater than has been previously ... Views:2149
Domestic violence negatively affects everyone in the family — the offender, the spouse, the children, and the next generation. Stopping and healing violence in the home will involve the whole family getting help, with or without the offender, whether reunification is antici¬pated or not. ... Views:2307
Broken bones, ruptured spleen, bruised swollen tissue, and ultimately a diagnosed clinical condition labeled as “degenerative disc.” Such a label can connote a permanent, defective body part, and ultimately an image of broken body.
I hear domestic violence survivors talk about their ... Views:963
What’s with the water for domestic abuse survivors? Water can be like soap to the body on a cellular level. It flushes out the impurities in the system. And let’s face it when you live with someone who tells you that you are junk...toxicity builds up in your system.
So how do you ... Views:795
What’s wrong with her for “letting” him talk to her like that? This is the first thought of an outsider looking in on an abusive encounter of an abusive relationship.
Dr. Phil was interviewing a couple obviously in an abusive relationship. He asked the woman how she felt about ... Views:839
“Where is your Mom?” asked a little boy to another. The little boy replied, “I don’t know.” From his point of view, she was lost. She was gone. She left him. She abandoned him. ...And the conclusions go on and on, each one with more and more potential to fracture a ... Views:907
Children develop skills in a predictable sequence that must be followed. For instance, babies do not learn to walk before they crawl. They babble before they speak words. They use parallel play earlier than interactive play. In the same way, they learn to cope with stressors, solve problems, and ... Views:3019
It is common knowledge that when one is beaten down, they feel beaten down. So it’s no wonder that domestic abuse survivors frequently suffer from depression. We see this in individuals living in an abusive relationship, and in those having left their abuser.
What is it that makes it ... Views:1040
You know from the core of your being that living in an abusive relationship is not good...not healthy…outright destructive. But you struggle with leaving. And those that know of your circumstances remain perplexed as to why you just don’t go.
I understand and so do the millions of ... Views:711
Question:
Am I to blame for my husband's/child's/parent's mental state and behaviour? Is there anything that I can or should do to help him or to reach him?
Answer:
Self-flagellation is a characteristic of those who choose to live with a narcissist (for a choice it is). Constant feelings of ... Views:6221
While the punch, the black eye, the bruised throat or broken jaw are obviously glaring signs that one is living in an abusive relationship, these are not always the clues that inspire the abused to leave.
As human beings we have an enormous capacity to whether trauma and a built-in mechanism to ... Views:1096