When Will You Be Happy?

There is much talk of positive thinking and happiness mentality in our culture at present and yet, it appears that we are taking increasing quantities of anti-depressants than ever before. This paradox demonstrates that the mood of our global nation is one of tranquilized normality.

Where is all the happiness that we are told is our birth right? Where is the happy ever after that we were promised in the fairy tales?

It seems to be that happiness is something that needs to be worked at. Unhappiness, whatever the cause, is a state of being disappointed with what life has given you. Whether this is a learned behaviour or a reaction to a tragedy or a circumstance, it is reflecting a dis-satisfaction with life.

One of the arch enemies of happiness is the ego. The ego has us always wanting for more, always looking for change, always escaping the present. It tells us that we would be better off with those friends, with that partner, with that gadget, and yet as soon as we change, it is bored, and is off seeking the next project.

The motto of the ego is "Seek and do not find" - it will never be happy with what it has, so it will keep you searching for happiness any way it can, in an eternal unease and dis-satisfaction.

Take a look at this question, and you will see the ways that the ego plays you-

When will you be happy? I will be happy when......

I am thinner, richer, have a new car, a new job, some new friends, a bigger house, better clothes, more money, less responsibility, the kids are grown, I have children, I move abroad, I take up some hobbies, I get my teeth fixed, I win a race, I leave my partner, I write a book and so on. This list is endless.

Happiness is a state of mind. A great contribution to your happiness is by accepting and being happy with what you have got. If what you have is untenable, make changes to allow yourself to leave and become happier. If you continually complain, but never leave or do anything to better the situation, you have to ask yourself if you really want to be happy? There has to be a payoff for putting up with a miserable situation. Work out what it is so that you can stay and be happy, or leave and change your ways.

Being happy and being grateful are very similar. One way to increase your happiness is to begin to work out the ways that you are grateful for all that you have- people who love you, a roof over your head, clothes on your back, and food on the table. Everything else is irrelevant for now. The basics are what keep you alive, and so start by being grateful for the sustenance you receive from them. Work on the parts of you that make you unhappy, so that you can raise your levels of happiness.

Written by Caroline Nettle

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