What makes a Good Mate

Now I’m first going to say that there is no textbook answer here. A wife who seems to be good for one husband may not in fact be good for the next one. The thing which makes any mate good whether it be a husband or wife is their compatibility to the other. My trash may be your treasure. I’m not going to try to make a laundry list of qualities here for you to look at and check off to make sure that you are doing everything right. The right thing is whatever is right for you and your spouse.

The mistake that many of us make is that we often attempt to qualify our mate or intended mate by generating a list of characteristics which we think that our ideal mate should have. The problem with this practice is that it is selfish. When we do this we are thinking only of what we want and we always doom ourselves to failure.

There is no one in the world which will meet all of your requirements. Even if you find someone who does they will also bring a list of negatives which you won’t be able to account for. The problem now is that you have to be willing to accept the negatives as part of the total package. Now before you declare that that is not what you want remember that you are bringing your own list of negatives to the situation also.

The one thing that you need to remember is that all people need to feel appreciated whether male of female. When you show your appreciation for the other person you nullify most of the negatives that you have brought to the situation.

Love is the key to the situation. Love is not self centered. Love seeks to fulfill the needs of the other person without asking anything in return. So if you want a perfect mate you need a mate that you can shower your love upon. Have you ever heard the saying that love covers a multitude of sins? Love will blind your eyes to the faults of others. So the problem is not finding a perfect mate but the problem is you having perfect love.

Now love does not mean that you are to remain in a relationship which is abusive. You can still love the abusive person but you shouldn’t have a relationship with them. That’s just common sense. Love will work when you are with someone who loves you back. If you have ever been in a loving relationship before you might have been surprised that the person that you settled on had few if any of the list of qualities that you thought were so important. True love comes with maturity so don’t be in a hurry

Do me a favor here and write down about five of the qualities that you feel are important for your next mate to have. Once you have written them down take a good look at them. Are they physical characteristics or are they personality traits. If you have listed physical traits such as good looks, dark eyes, long hair etc., I would say that you are not ready for a true long term relationship and certainly not for marriage . If you chose personality traits then you are close.

If you choose sex as one of your traits you need to wait awhile before you seek to be committed. A commitment should not be based on sex. You will enjoy sex best when it is with the person that you truly love. Sex should be a pervasive exercise that encompasses body, mind, and soul, not something that you do just to feel good. I think that the sexuality that we witness on TV each day has served to help give our younger generation the wrong impression. Relationships are not about sex, they are about love. Sex is simply an added bonus to something which is inherently better. This article may not have been what you wanted it to be but I call them as I see them. The Good Life