Toxic Relationships: Did you step into a toxic landmine?

If you find yourself in a toxic relationship, you may feel that you are walking into a war zone filled with landmines. The metaphor couldn't be more precise! Most people have emotional and psychic areas that they have not healed. Step into these Toxic Fields, and they explode in your face! This article helps you access if you have stepped into a toxic relationship and if it is a long or short term situation.

Toxic Fields
Everyone has a Toxic Field. Imagine a war-plagued zone in which the military has planted toxic landmines. Step into any of those landmines, and it explodes. Not only that, but the toxicity spreads throughout the environment for a long, long time.

That's exactly the nature of a human Toxic Field. The wounded areas in our psyche that have not been healed carry dense toxic emotional waste. When you step into that Toxic Field, it will explode in your face. That's when a good relationship goes bad.

You need to track down the dynamics of the relationship in order to spot the Toxic Field that was activated. That will then allow you to make choices that will help heal the relationship.

But sometimes it's not about what you did or what Toxic Field you stepped on. Sometimes the person is so highly toxic that she is an agent of pollution. Her entire dynamics are a mined field! You need to recognize this highly toxic people. Otherwise they can drive you crazy, suck the life force out of you, and leave you feeling guilty to boot!

What type of Toxic Relationship are you facing?
You may be going through a long-term or short-term toxic relationship. Long-term toxic relationships are those that you've been carrying with highly toxic people. I call them long-term, ~regardless of how long you've been in them~ because if you stay in them, you are in for a long term toxic shower.

You can't win in those relationships. The reason that you can't win is that highly toxic people are not just regular folks with one or two Toxic Fields. They are people with a High Toxic Profile. They are Energy Vampires who drain others of energy through mind games and they NEVER accept responsibility for any problem in a relationship. It's always someone else's fault.

Short-term toxic relationships are good relationships that suddenly turn toxic. They usual culprit is a Toxic Field. One or both of you stepped into a Toxic Field of the other. Remember, when you step into a Toxic Field, it explodes. Because it's toxic, the emotional pollution goes on and on, spreading throughout the environment. A perfectly good relationship can suddenly turn into a war zone.

This is crazy making because you thought you were in a good, loving, supportive relationship and now you can barely talk to one another. Nevertheless, the quality of each person shines through at these moments, and if you work it out the relationship and each of you will evolve. Remember that love and relationships are powerful schools in your spiritual evolution and personal growth .

Your first task right now is to determine if your toxic relationship is long or short term. That will make all the difference!

Take the self-assessment below, taken from my forthcoming Toxic Relationships Self-help Kit at http://toxicrelationships.eventbrite.com

Self-assessment:
Is your Toxic Relationship long or short term?

Are you going through any of this?

__ Are you feeling drained in a relationship?
__ Are you feeling disrespected, taken advantage of or constantly carrying the weight of a relationship?__ Is this relationship running rings around you?
__ Are you trapped in high dramas that keep you low?

If you answer even one yes, chances are that you are in a long-term relationship with a highly toxic person that does not or cannot sustain a loving, two-way relationship. This may take the shape of:

__ A toxic relationship at work that makes you dread each morning.

__ An old relationship with a relative or friend in which you started setting limits or expressing your dreams or more confidence, and now the person is giving you hell.

__ Perhaps it's always been like this, but you have changed, and now you are starting to SEE the toxicity.

On the other hand, your toxic relationship may be a short-term one if you respond affirmatively to the items below.

__ Are you suddenly facing another personality in your loved one, one that is negative, defensive or uncaring?

__ Is this person deserving of your love and respect, and is still trying to make it work, even through the crisis?

__ Did you use to communicate well and with depth and honesty, but now all communication is cross-wired and ends in a fight?

Then you may be facing a short-term toxic relationship. One or both of you stepped into a Toxic Field in the other.

This may take the shape of:

__ A good relationship suddenly becoming hell!

__ An old friendship suddenly caught in a negative cycle.

__ A good love relationship entering an unexpected crisis that threatens with break-up.

Relationships and the 2012 Planetary Shift

It has come to my attention that at this time in the 2012 Planetary Shift, the effect of Kali, the destructive face of the Goddess, is clearing out human relationship fields. The catastrophes that are affecting earth are now shaking up our relationships!

The 2012 Planetary Shift is predicted to last until 2016. Therefore, it's essential that you cleanse your life of toxicity so that you can move yourself and humanity into a higher vibration.

On top of that, at this time financial issues are creating added stress in relationships.

If you feel that you have been "stung" by a toxic relationship, the first three things you need to know are:

1. If this is a long-term or short-term situation,
2. The level of toxicity and
3. The Toxic Fields involved.

This information will allow you to choose the best way to address your Toxic Relationship.

You need to take especial care right now, as are at the tail of the 2012 Planetary Shift, because your choices and relationships are part of our global shift towards peace .

Do not procrastinate dealing with a toxic relationship. The more time goes by from the time of the Toxic Field detonation, the more the pollution spreads. This is one instance in which avoidance can be fatal.

Here are 7 emergency tools to begin addressing your Toxic Dance.

1. Practice clarity first within yourself and then in your communications.

2. Maintain plain old good manners and courtesy, now more than ever.

3. Speak and act from a place of pure love. Do not allow fear, blame or judgment to guide your actions. Keep your heart open and communicate from this place of vulnerability. If it does not feel safe, better not to say anything than to lash out.

4. Bring the goodness in the relationship to the foreground, so that you know what is at stake. Name it and appreciate it, even as you deal with the crisis.

5. Gather your energy within yourself to love and support yourself. Place the limits you need to place. Focus on yourself, what you want and need and what you deserve; and avoid polarizing this with the needs of others. Remember that we are all one. What we do to the other we do to ourselves. Trust that in streaming the highest frequency of love throughout your being for healing and harmonizing yourself, you are also blessing the other person and healing the relationship.

6. Allow healing space between you and the other person. Detachment and distancing can be an act of love when you do this with the intent of honoring each others' needs, instead of plain avoidance or punishment.

7. Release judgment. It is the enemy of love and the product of fear. Practice Fearless Love by releasing any judgment about yourself or others. Fearless love does not blame, judge or hold prisoners. Fearless love holds each person responsible for their choices, honors each person's freedom and shifts from fear to love at every minute.

Remember that you are the peace -keeper for our tomorrow and that global peace starts within yourself an in your immediate relationships. Peace does not mean to accept the thin end of the stick in order to avoid conflict. It means that together we find or create a stick where each has an equally thick end!