Top 3 Worst Pieces of Advice I Have Ever Heard

This may sound like a slightly ironic headline but I am writing this post in celebration of all the bad advice I have received or have heard others receive over the years and this brings me to a very important point. Why do we spend so much time listening to others whose advice is coming from somewhere in the recesses of their own unenlightened minds, when there is a myriad of wisdom out there jut waiting to be explored??

Guess we don’t know any better, do we?

So without further ado, here’s my pick of the worst advice anyone could ever give you:)

TYPICAL ADVICE

‘The best way to get over a past love is to move straight on to the next person.’

This was actually told to me by some one I was dating recently who, as I later found out, had moved onto me as a way of getting over his previous girlfriend. Of course it didn’t work out and when I quizzed him about why he was doing something that obviously didn’t feel right to him, he replied that his friends had told him it was best to go out looking for a new ‘soul mate’ so he could quickly get over the last one.

INSPIRED ADVICE

Actually, the opposite is true. When you are serious about looking for your ‘ideal’ partner, someone who connects to you on a soul level, rather than just someone to fill a space, you actually need to clear the relationship energy around you, i.e. stop dating . If you have been having trouble attracting the right person because all of the wrong ones have been showing up and you don’t stop to re-evaluate the situation and do some soul work, what makes you think the next one is going to be any different? Staying out of the game for while to think seriously about what you want clears the energy of the old from around you. taking the time to cut the cords that keep you attached to them will be far more productive than hitting the bars.

TYPICAL ADVICE

‘Job security is really important. Aim for a future that is secure.’

This is a classic one that parents tells us all the time. But here’s another take on that:

INSPIRED ADVICE

Placing security at the top of your wish list is basically admitting that your life is little more than a reaction to fear of the unknown so you have to have everything under control and never get involved in anything risky. Well here’s what I think: God loves people who take risks. Why? Because it shows that you have faith both in yourself as a marvelous creation, and also that the universal power is out there working with you every step of the way. Don’t wait until you’re ready – do it before you are ready and leverage the momentum that comes from taking a big step. This is exactly the advice I gave a friend of mine the other day when she told she was really unhappy in her teaching job and was desperate to develop her new hair and makeup business. She said that everyone else had told her that she should stay for a couple more paychecks and save some money.

I asked her, ‘How do you feel when you get up in the morning and know that you have to go to that job?’

Her reply was, ‘Terrible.’

Any job that makes you feel terrible is putting you in a state in which nothing good can ever happen to you. So even though you may value a regular paycheck, you should value yourself more. It’s a scary thought to let go of something so secure but by going for the better-feeling option, you put yourself in a state of flow, from which better things come until you get to a point where you never think about that paycheck ever again.

TYPICAL ADVICE

‘In order to succeed in life, you need to go to the best schools and invest a lot of time and money in your education.’

Actually, there is some truth here. You DO need to invest in your education. However, when most people give this advice, they have the concept of ‘education’ all wrong.

INSPIRED ADVICE

Before I go any further, I would like to add here that I am, in fact, an adult education teacher (with a Cambridge University TESOL teaching certificate to prove it). That’s right folks, I am engaged in the business of formal ‘book learnin’. So I can tell you first hand that boy, do we adults have some problems……………

Now I’m sure I don’t have to tell you how rubbish most education systems are round the world (OK maybe with the exception of Finland). And I could probably write a thesis on why this is the case (outdated post-industrial revolution mindset). And I know from having spent a lot of time with adults in a learning setting that the majority of the information they have learned from their formal education they have forgotten but most of the feelings, beliefs and the other forms of sub-conscious input they gained about their place in life and how much they believe in their capabilities are still going strong.

And, with some people, up to 80% of my job is to help them reach a mental state where they believe acquiring this new skill is easy and setting realistic learning targets.

Now this may come as a surprise but some of the worst-affected people went to some of the best schools but were often compared with others and developed feelings of inadequacy.

So what am I saying? I’m saying formal education is great but even the ‘best’ schools don’t do enough to prepare young people for success. They simply perpetuate the myth that nothing good happens without formal qualifications and lots of them.

Here’s is what I would say to someone who asked me for advice on this subject:
I would say finish high school and if you have a desire to study at university because you have found an area you FEEL passionate about, then go for that but along the way, do as much as possible to give yourself life experiences at the same time. Work part-time jobs, keep informed about the world, travel, volunteer, try new things and fail then write in your journal about them, learn to solve practical problems, invest time in your health, learn how to manage money, and most importantly, take a personal development course or find mentors who can help you get you mind in top working order. Because, although formal education helps, it is actually MINDSET that sets successful people apart.

If you have followed this advice or given it on several occasions, it’s not all your fault. With our rational minds, we love to listen to advice that seems logical and reasonable. So we believe that because our parents have been around a lot longer than us, it seems logical to assume that they would have gathered a lot of wisdom along the way and we can learn a lot from their experience, when in reality, they have probably been muddling around in the dark longer than we have and are still none-the-wiser about what’s really going on. In fact some of the worst advice I have ever heard has come from the previous generation, who are not only unenlightened but out-of-touch with this generation’s problems as well.

Likewise for the advice about meeting a soulmate. Of course it seems reasonable that the more people we meet, the more LIKELY we are to meet that special someone, it’s just statistics isn’t it?

The problem with inspired advice is that it often seems to run counter to our expectations of what good advice sounds like, counter-intuitive, if you like, and we don’t like to not have our expectations met. But in fact, the best advice comes from within you when you connect with source energy but you must learn to give your problems to a higher source rather than get answers from those around you.

For me, the best advice comes from Abraham Hicks, who said this :
‘If we were standing in your physical shoes, when we went to bed at night, we would bask in the deliciousness of the bed and we would lie in appreciation of everything we could find to appreciate. We would bring ourselves into alignment through appreciation and deliberate focus and if we couldn’t find it there, we would go general enough until we find it and we would intend to sleep well and we would put forth the suggestion that when we awaken in the morning, we will feel refreshed and that tomorrow will be a day when much inspiration of things from the vortex will flow. We would then say I am happy to be awake in this physical body and I am looking forward to witnessing the evidence of my alignment.’

And that, my friends, is that.