Forgiveness is a topic that has come up quite a bit lately not only in my practice, but in my personal life. Many people have the mistaken idea that if you forgive someone you say what they did that hurt you was okay. Forgiveness really is about letting go of the negative energy you have around something someone did that hurt you. It's taking back your power and not allowing that person's act to continue to hurt you in the future.
Forgiveness is important in our ability to learn, grow and evolve in our lives. More importantly, it's essential if we want to be happy. Holding on to feelings of anger and resentment toward someone who has hurt us can keep us from moving forward in our lives. As long as we're focused on something that happened in the past, we can't move into the future.
It is difficult to give up our negative feelings toward the offender, because they 'deserve' to be punished in our view. But ask yourself this question: is expending negative energy on this bad guy hurting them - or you? The answer, of course, is it is hurting you! So, we choose to forgive, not for the other person, but for ourselves.
Forgiving does not meant that you condone, or even accept, what the other person did. It also does not mean that you have to continue to have a relationship with this person if they are likely to hurt you in the future. It does mean that you can let go of what happened and move on.
A topic for another time: forgiving ourselves.
www.lauraallancounseling.com laura@lauraallancounseling.com
I believe counseling or coaching is a collaborative effort to which we both bring valuable skills, knowledge and insight to resolve your concerns. My role as a counselor or coach is to facilitate and advocate for you in your continued learning and growth. I am a dedicated and experienced professional committed to providing quality and affordable counseling for individuals and couples, as well as personal and professional coaching.
I offer services for a wide range of emotional, behavioral, and relationship issues. My goal is to provide a comfortable and safe environment, which will allow you to explore the complexities of life, find your inner strength, and continue on your journey to being a better you.
I understand that each individual’s path is different and that your goals are the ultimate priority of our journey together. We will work together, though an interactive problem-solving process, which will focus on your inner strengths and ability to successfully master life’s challenges.
Professional Background: I am a Registered Counselor and a Certified Professional Coach. I have an M.A. degree in Applied Behavioral Science with concentration in Systems Counseling from Bastyr University. I also have a B.S. degree from Washington State University and an M.S. from Seattle University. I have additional specialized training in working with couples and eating disorders.
Prior to beginning my private practice, I was employed by Sound Mental Health as a Therapist and Chemical Dependency Counselor where I worked with clients with co-occurring disorders (both mental health and addiction), couples, families, and adolescents.
I ascribe and adhere to the American Psychological Association’s code of ethics www.apa.org/ethics/ .