The Habit of Anger

Anger is an emotion that can be observed even in babies. For them, so much is new, and their developing command of of their own bodies challenges them and produces frustration that is manifested as anger.

The interesting part is that, in the very young, manifestations of anger are natural. Almost right away, the infant observes the reaction that all of their actions have on those around them. They quickly learn which behaviour gets what kind of response from their parents.

Some parents give in to their child's anger repeatedly, thus 'educating' the child on the 'positive' benefits of anger. Anger than becomes a tool the child learns to use to get what it wants. When anger sometimes fails to get the desired response, this increases frustration and ups the level of anger. In this way we see how anger, like any emotion, can become a habit of behaviour. It is a habit, because it's effectiveness causes the individual to return to it often. Once it is a habit, it needs to be unlearned.

For those wondering about their own anger, you will 'control' it only when you learn how to get what anger used to achieve, in a different way. Remember that habitual anger got that way because you learned that it was useful. One does not throw away something useful, until it is replaced with something better.

Realize this too. Anger in it's basic sense is a response to perceived threat. Humans as well as other animals that perceive threat usually opt to 'fight or flee'. So anger is a fight response to a perceived threat. Notice that the threat need not be real, (and usually isn't), but that one simply feels threatened by what is going on. That is something one need reflect upon in any anger management program.