Stop Being Hard on Yourself, Learn to Love Yourself Instead

In our busy and sometimes mixed up and stressful lives we can easily overlook what we love about our days, let alone ourselves.

One of the things I hear most from others, my clients and myself, although I’m visiting this space much less these days, is how hard we are on ourselves.

Whether it’s our appearance, or that we should have done a better job or be a better person, or we aren’t good enough, or we should be further ahead, or doubting our talents, abilities, or our capacity to love or be loved, or we should be beyond this behaviour or thinking, etc. The list is endless.

We minimize our existence and maximize what we don’t love about our lives and ourselves.

Wouldn’t it be nice to have the opposite? We would maximize our love and minimize our complaints. It is possible!

I certainly have had my share of hard knocks, so to speak, over the years, but I am dedicated to my continual growth, expansion and love of myself, my life, and others just as it is or we/they are, even in the midst of tough times or trying people.

How about you? Are you committed to loving yourself and your life just the way it is right now? Or, have you given up on your dreams , yourself, and love?

Love truly can calm our outer and inner existence in a moments reflection.

The question is, are you willing to love all that is, just the way it is, including yourself?

Easier said than done? Yes, sometimes, and in certain situations it can be a real challenge to love that which in the moment we despise in ourselves, another, or our life.

Yet as difficult as it might be, these very circumstances are calling quietly and sometimes very loudly if we aren’t paying attention to our need for, and to, love.

When things are difficult, when we are second guessing, when we doubt, judge, and criticize ourselves, others, or our lives, it’s a call for love.

Stop for a moment. Really. Take a deep breath and become centered. What do you love right now about your life? About yourself?

All we need to do is stop once in awhile throughout our day and think about what we appreciate in this very moment.

Maybe it’s your work, your family , your partner, your surrounding, your freedom, your home, etc.

What do you love about you? Can you find things you admire about yourself?

Perhaps it’s your laugh, your smile, your kindness, your talents, your passion, your patience, your flexibility, your romantic side, your creativity, your listening skills , your voice (singing, or the ability to speak your truth).

Maybe it’s your writing, your compassion, your strength, your courage, your determination, your growth, your commitment, etc.

What about your physical appearance? Your eyes, nose, hands, legs, buttocks, feet, etc.

If you don’t have a “love yourself and your life journal”, start one. Write down all the things you cherished about your day, and then about you as a person.

What do you admire about you as a parent, spouse, friend, co-worker, boss, sibling, grandparent, or as a spiritual being in this human experience and physical body.

What are you grateful for about your day or week? Don’t discount the small things as being insignificant; they are more significant then you believe.

It’s important to remember what’s good in our lives and about ourselves and move from criticizing and complaining to appreciating and admiring.

When we are having a good day or week, it’s easier to see what we love about ourselves, another, or in our life, but when things are testing our relationships and our physical, emotional, spiritual beings, it can turn love to loathing in a heart beat.

When you find yourself being jealous, or judging, complaining, criticizing and/or doubting yourself, others, or your life, it’s a call for love.

What you don’t like is there to show you where you are withholding love on some level.

Don’t forget, you are from the greatest source of love that there is and life’s challenges are there to remind you to open your heart and find the love within.

Don’t worry, if you find yourself taking a step backward sometimes it’s offering you another opportunity to take a step forward.

Let your true instincts of love return. Reach out from the inside; love your life, another, the world and most importantly, YOU, just as you are right now.

Where can you respect yourself more? Give yourself more credit? Recognize your growth?

Remember, whatever you are judging in yourself, another, or your day is calling for your attention, but more importantly, your love!

Today is the day to give yourself a break, to recognize your worth and to not be so hard on yourself. Love yourself instead.

The Insight Technique assists you in seeing how you are withholding love in your life and towards others and yourself so that you can return to your natural state of being once again.