The Single's Guide to Healthy Self-esteem

Many people would agree that being single is fun, liberating and definitely much better than being in a relationship. However, not all singles have it easy all the time. Single women, especially, are at times faced with difficulties about how other people perceive their current status. Friends and loved ones can invariably put a significant pressure on the single person to hunt for a mate or flirt their way into a relationship at the very least. Being with somebody or part of a couple seems to be THE only way, and going on in life unattached is well, unthinkable. These people may have the best intentions when they worry over a single person’s “dilemma”, but what they are actually doing is making a huge burden for the unattached person to bear.

Is it wrong to be in college and not have a mate? What difference would it make if a person is raising his/her kids alone? Should the recently divorced and widowed agonize because they are suddenly single? Sure, being with someone has its benefits, but it’s not all that great every time. A person doesn’t need somebody else to feel good about one’s self. Besides, the numbers on divorce is enough to tell us that marriage is not for everyone, and is an option that should only be taken freely, not because one is pressured or forced into it. It’s a pity when some people are bullied to flirt or go on a date just to fit in with their coupled friends, even when they’re not ready.

Being the “odd one out” will surely bring about questions about one’s singleness, which are quite hard to deal with, especially if the questions come from friends whom you thought would accept you for what you are. It is during these times that should make the single person fully comprehend what is truly going on. Friends and families may only be concerned when making queries about why you’re not hooking up with someone, or dressing up to be more attractive, but how is this affecting how you feel about life? These questions can surely make any single person uncomfortable, but when it creates an impact negative enough to make one feel very insecure, then a self-esteem makeover will be very valuable.

A person who has a firm and dogged self-esteem can never be knocked off by any demeaning question or by anyone for that matter. No matter how many questions are asked and who asks the questions, a confident person knows just how much he/she is worth, single or not. It is very important to know how to value one’s self first; what other people say and think hardly matters, and must not shake whatever image you have of yourself. Having good relations with other people is essential, but what really counts is the relationship we have with ourselves. A self-esteem makeover will certainly not happen if you stare at the mirror every morning, angry and discontented with how you look like, wishing that you’re somebody else instead.

Single people in particular must learn to like and value themselves for what they are, not for what other people expect them to be. A healthy self-esteem is crucial, because it can change the way how people feel about themselves and how they present themselves to other people.