Overcoming Negative Thoughts

Negative thoughts

“We live who we believe we are”

Tony Robbins

I have recently enrolled in the part-time Psychotherapy program at Transformational Arts College here in Toronto (Thanks for the recommendation GY!). Part of the reason I enrolled was the realization that throughout my career I have encountered many people from diverse backgrounds who needed more help than I was able to provide as a trainer, employment consultant or as a frontline worker. Helping people to lose weight, find a job or change their life was the presenting issue for the individual, which actually covers up a core issue which has not been addressed. Every person who came short of their goals, including myself suffered from the same calamity – our negative thoughts or better yet our limiting beliefs. This was the other reason why I enrolled in the program - by exploring my own personal issues was something I really needed to face as I attempt to help out others.

I have tried many ventures and had many jobs in my career. I often thought I was fully aware of my shortcomings and truly understood why some things didn’t work the way I wanted. In fact, I didn’t truly understand how much my negative thoughts limited my ability to realize my full potential. Whether it was by me procrastinating, not putting in a full effort, not asking for help or not letting those around me know what I am doing is all part of the barriers I put up to minimize the pain I would feel in case I failed. To me, I knew what success looked like but I didn’t really know what steps were needed to ensure success. Every time I ventured out by my own, initially filled with confidence, I would finally succumb to the negative thoughts permeating inside my head, as well as the fear people would expose me as a fraud. I had no idea what that was about.

It has been accepted as truth that we have 50 000 - 60 000 thoughts every day, with 95% of our thoughts repeated every day. On average, anywhere between 60-80% of our thoughts are negative. Those thoughts have developed over time for many reasons as a means for survival. For example, many people, not all, know that swimming in shark infested water is not a good thing. Other thoughts that are negative would warn us never to go into the basement of a very old house when the power is out, a funky smell lingers and you hear scary noises. This is our brain using negative thoughts to warn us of potential danger. Other negative thoughts aren’t as useful today. Such thoughts like you are too smart for your own good for some came from the need to not let master know how smart you are. Or we would beat our child before anyone else would to show as parents we can keep our child in check. These things will traumatize children making them feel education is not good. Worst yet, if we see our parents work so hard at work yet we don’t see the fruits of their labour. As children, those situations will form our thoughts and those thoughts become our beliefs. Facing this reality, it is not surprising that many people don’t have the ability to rise above their current situation.

As I learn to peel back the onion to discover my true self and my try essence, I will learn where my fear of failure originates. It’s funny, my early life was filled with personal success. Of course, there are certain realities I have not yet come to terms. I have learned some lessons based on recent successes that I have been able to transfer to other parts of my life. It is these lessons that is guiding me along my present journey and is giving me the courage to live the life I have always dreamed about. Being a psychotherapist is a natural process for me. It is bringing together the pieces I felt was missing when I worked in fitness , employment, politics, finance, the arts and even film. My studies are helping me to heal and I have the need to help others heal the wounds from our past. I am open to more possibilities, as the more I learn, the more I willing to share. I thank you for reading this post. Let’s heal ourselves for a better future.