Mother-Enmeshed Men: Can A Mother-Enmeshed Man Feel Abandoned After His Mother Has Passed On?

If a man’s life revolves around his mother and has been this way since he was a boy, it is naturally going to be difficult for him when she passes on. However, he might rarely if ever think about her passing on.

This can be because he is so caught up in her world that he doesn’t have time to think too deeply about anything. Then again, due to how much he fears losing her; this could be the last thing that he wants to contemplate.

Very Stressful

His mother might be in good health or she could be in a very bad way physically. If she is not in a bad way and were to pass on, it is likely to be a big shock and something that is hard for him to deal with.

Yet, even if she is not in a good way and were to pass on, it is still likely to be a big shock and something that is hard for him to deal with. What this will illustrate is that even though death is part of life, this doesn’t make it any easier to accept.

A Complex Period

But, although this can be a time when some family members and friends will be shocked and filled with grief but still be able to function. It is likely to be very different for him.

So, not only can he be shocked and filled with grief , he can find it hard to function. This will show that the loss of his mother has had a massive impact on him and that he is going to need a lot of support.

Two levels

On one level, he will have lost his mother, so it is to be expected that this would leave him in a very bad way. This is then the same as how when a woman loses her father, this can have a big impact on her.

To deeper, though, as his mother was the centre of his world and she is now gone, a massive hole will have been created. Therefore, not only can he not carry on as normal as his mother has passed but as she has passed, the life that he had before will have come to an end.

A very Different Scenario

If he had had his own life and his mother was a small part of it, it would be different. It would be possible for him to carry on with his life, while having to deal with the loss of his mother.

Yet, as his mother was his life and she is no longer here, he will have lost his mother and the life that he had. Along with experiencing a deep sense of loss, then, he can question if he even wants to live.

A Number of Different Elements

Moreover, he can often feel as if he has been abandoned and that his life is going to come to an end. During this time can feel helpless and hopeless and more like a boy than a man.

At other times, when he doesn’t feel this way, he can experience a fair amount of fear and anxiety . And, when he is not caught up by how he feels, he can be in a disconnected state.

Another part

Additionally, when he does feel abandoned, there can be moments when he is filled with anger, rage and hate. It can be as though his mother has turned her back on him and has just disappeared.

He can feel deeply betrayed by her and be desperate for her to return. When he is in this state, he might not be able to accept that his mother has gone and will never be here again.

Not a Surprise

Assuming that this is what he is going through, he won’t be in a good way but it could be said that what he is going through was more or less destined to happen. The reason for this is that he would have been greatly deprived and deeply wounded during his formative years.

This would have stopped him from being able to grow and develop a strong sense of self. Instead, he would have developed a disconnected false self that was focused on pleasing his mother and meeting a number of her needs.

Weak Foundations

Focusing on his mother as an adult would have been a continuation of how he had to behave as a child. This would have been what felt comfortable and played a big part in what allowed him to keep his pain and unmet developmental needs at bay.

So, as he can’t behave in this way anymore, some of his repressed pain and unmet developmental needs will have started to enter his conscious awareness. If he had received what he needed, developed a strong sense of self and had been able to live his own life as an adult, he would most likely be having a radically different experience.

Awareness
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If a man can relate to this and he is ready to change his life, he may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.