How To Be Assertive In A Gentle Way

Are you someone who faces a problem in saying no? Or you think that people do not listen when you speak? If yes, then there is a lack of confidence.

If you are here, you are surely trying to change this scenario. Putting a point and standing up for what you believe in is right, of course. But there is a way to put it. If you accept what people say without a question, you look like a submissive. If it comes out aggressively, you are an aggressive person.

So, how to be assertive while being gentle?

Here are a few things which will help you to bring a change in you.

Convey your feeling in clear wordsIf you don’t like what you see, don’t accept it. It is wrong to think that people will not understand you. Even if your opinion is different than everyone else, still say it out what you think about the thing or the topic. People will never know what you are thinking unless you speak. So, do speak it out.

Mind your toneWhen you are right, there is no reason to give into other people’s opinions. But do not sound too timid. But there is also this thing that not everyone shares your opinion. And you cannot make people do what you want. State your opinion in a clear conversational tone. You must not sound rude, aggressive or passive.

Maintain eye contactA clear way to tell others that you mean what you are saying is maintaining eye contact. If you are someone who gives in to things easily it becomes imperative for you to make eye contact while speaking. If you are confident than eye contact is not an issue for you but it is a sign that if you are stating your opinion, you are also willing to listen to theirs.

Talk directly and simplyThere is a common thing that people do when people are not listening to them and that is, they accuse others or hurt them. You need to say what you feel without making others feel guilty. Speak in a direct, simple and concise way.

Stay calmKnowing your mistake and accepting it only makes you better as you know what is there to change. If facing a difficult situation makes you angry or frustrated, you need to stay calm while expressing yourself. Mind your posture and maintain eye contact. While talking, do not let the person intimidate you. Keep your calm and speak up.

Know your thingIf you think about something in a particular way or have a certain opinion, you must have logic to back it up. You need to do your research here. A confident way of speaking backed by real logic can make thousands of people shut their mouths.

The body language
Your body can give out your frustration and anger even when you are trying to stay calm. You need to maintain a positive posture while maintaining eye contact. Keep a neutral face. A clenched jaw, furrowed brows, fists clenched at your sides, these are all signs that you are angry and are not respecting their opinions.

Know the power of “I”It is often said that using “I” in a conversation is wrong as it implies your pride. But it also signifies your opinion and that you, as a person, want something. You need to make it a habit of saying “I think” or “I feel” or “I disagree”. “I” shows your confidence and when faced with a bunch of people who hold a different opinion than yours, it helps you a lot.

Set the limitsThere must be certain boundaries in order to make a healthy conversation. You need to make your own boundaries so that people do not walk all over you. The limits also apply to you so that you are not posed as an aggressive or rude person. The boundaries will help you remember what is and isn’t allowed.

A major problem which everyone faces these days is they think too much. But when you are trying to make a change in yourself for the better, all you need to think about is where you are wrong and how you can change it. Remember, a person with a strong will always wins.