New year resolutions are notoriously fragile and ephemeral. But victims of abuse cannot afford this cavalier attitude : their mental - and too often physical - health depends on strictly observing the following promises to themselves:
1. I will treat myself with dignity and demand respect from others. I will not allow anyone to disrespect me.
2. I will set clear boundaries and make known to others what I regard as permissible and acceptable behavior and what is out of bounds.
3. I will not tolerate abuse and aggression in any form or guise. I will seek to terminate such misconduct instantly and unequivocally.
4. I will be assertive and unambiguous about my needs, wishes, and expectations from others. I will not be arrogant - but I will be confident. I will not be selfish and narcissistic - but I will love and care for myself.
5. I will get to know myself better.
6. I will treat others as I want them to treat me. I will try to lead by way of self-example.
7. If I am habitually disrespected, abused, or if my boundaries are ignored and breached I will terminate the relationship with the abuser forthwith. Zero tolerance and no second chance will be my maxims of self-preservation.
Sam Vaknin ( http://samvak.tripod.com ) is the author of Malignant Self-Love: Narcissism Revisited and After the Rain - How the West Lost the East, as well as many other books and ebooks about topics in psychology, relationships, philosophy, economics, and international affairs.
He is the Editor-in-Chief of Global Politician and served as a columnist for Central Europe Review, PopMatters, eBookWeb , and Bellaonline, and as a United Press International (UPI) Senior Business Correspondent. He was the editor of mental health and Central East Europe categories in The Open Directory and Suite101.
Visit Sam's Web site at http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com