Hope For The Betrayed Heart

There are occasionally those times in each of our lives when we are faced with the pain of a broken relationship, whether it be a trusted friend, spouse, or significant other.

The pain is very real and the grieving process is natural and necessary. Yet, there are a couple of helpful ways to daily restore hope and joy to your wounded heart while going through that grieving process. You can choose to restore hope and joy to your heart on a daily basis instead of remaining focused on the pain and betrayal.

I recently went through betrayal by a trusted friend. The person was a long time friend of our extended family whose poor, hurtful choices had caused a break in the friendship a few years back. This past year, the person called and apologized, asking to renew the friendship. After discussing at length the pain caused by prior actions (in the hopes of developing an understanding in the person of how such actions hurt people), we began the friendship anew. It lasted about a year, only for the person to go back to a life of repaying our love and kindness with evil. At times, I’m not sure who I’m more angry with, myself for giving the relationship a second try or the other person for bringing hurtful, harmful behavior into our lives again after all the love that was shown to the person.

We cannot choose the other person’s actions in life, but we can choose healing for our hearts.

Sooner or later that person will realize and experience loss from going through life interacting with hurtful, harmful behavior to the people who love him/her. For some people, however, the realization in the form of great regret does not take place until the end of their lives. For the rest of us, we must move on with health and healing in our hearts.

Here are two practical steps to restore hope and joy to your heart.

First, re-focus on the healthy relationships you presently have and those with whom you have lost touch.

Give some thought to the people who are, or have been, good to you, who have responded in ways that created healthy relationships. There are probably even people with whom you haven’t kept in as close contact as you should have that have been loving influences in your life. Now is the time to give that person (or persons) a call or email. Renew the friendship. Also, begin again spending more time with family who are supportive of you. Do not delay to invest time into the relationships in your life that are loving and healthy.

Second, make repeated mental focus throughout the day on these healthy relationships instead of the broken one.

Discipline yourself to think fond thoughts throughout the day of those who are good to your life. Restore your hope and joy by realizing that, though this one person betrayed you, your life has had, presently has, and will continue to have other people in it who know how to interact with you in loving, healthy ways. This one person may have ripped your heart out and stomped on it--metaphorically speaking, but “those who are for you are more than those who are against you.”

The story out of which that phrase comes is worthy of mention. In the part of scripture called the Old Testament, there is a story about the prophet Elijah who had gotten on the bad side of an enemy king. When he awoke one morning, the city had been surrounded by a mighty, threatening army. Elijah’s servant cried out in fear and said, “Oh, my lord, what shall we do?" "Don't be afraid," the prophet answered. "Those who are with us are more than those who are with them." Elijah asked God to open the servant’s eyes to see into the supernatural realm. He suddenly saw the hills surrounding the city full of horses and chariots of fire—a supernatural army of protection (2 Kgs. 6:14-17). The application to our present lives is that we get so focused on the immediate, harmful circumstance that we become oblivious to all the good that is available to us, in this case, friends and family who do treat us in loving, healing ways.

Do not delay to restore hope and joy to your betrayed, wounded heart! Re-focus, taking time in your schedule for those who truly love you, as well as making mental notes throughout the day on the actions of the loving, supportive people in your life!