Essential Ingredients for a successful relationship

Criteria for evaluating one’s relationship with one’s partner

Creating a healthy environment for a mutually satisfying relationship became the most hard and tedious task that a couple has to face in the complicated society in which we live. Nowadays, divorce is the norm and ...Criteria for evaluating one’s relationship with one’s partner

Creating a healthy environment for a mutually satisfying relationship became the most hard and tedious task that a couple has to face in the complicated society in which we live. Nowadays, divorce is the norm and everlasting relationships are perceived as one of the wonderful memories of ancient history. One must wonder: Is there any hope that the human race will be capable of conquering the domain of relationships between the two genders by simplifying its concept? The answer seems to be disappointing considering the emphasis, which the media is putting upon the failure of relationships. Most sitcoms on Television have among their principal characters divorced or legally separated couples.
After much soul searching, I came up with criteria that one could use to evaluate one’s relationship with the opposite gender. One can claim enjoying the magical wonders of being in a mutually satisfying relationship if the couple succeeds in accomplishing the following:

Enhancing each other’s life not altering it
Respecting and believing in each other’s ideas and beliefs not putting them down
Filling each other’s heart with joy and laughter
Stimulating each other mentally, satisfying one another physically and evolving together spiritually
Accepting each other as they are and never attempting to change one another
Permitting each other the chance to have space
Appreciating each other all the time not only on special occasion

Enhancing each other’s life not altering it

A relationship should enhance each partner’s life not alter it. Most couples acquire the misconception of having the right to change each other’s life after deciding to be a couple. Men and women must comprehend the fact that it is an impossible task for an individual to change his or her life completely because that individual fell in love with a member of the opposite gender and wishes to share his or her life with him or her.Of course, one’s life as a single person is slightly different from its counterpart as a married individual. One must attempt to find the balance between pursuing one’s activities and allocating time to spend with one’s significant other. A great number of married couples attempt to force each other to give up some of their activities. That might create resentments that gradually will lead to destroying their relationship.

Respecting and believing in each other’s ideas and beliefs not putting them down

One of the most committed errors of judgment in relationships is our attempt to put the views, beliefs and ideas of others down if they don’t coincide with ours. The couple must learn to embrace each other’s ideas and views even if they differ from theirs. Permitting different views and ideas to be expressed, within the boundary of the relationship, would lead to instigating self-confidence within the couple to be themselves. That is absolutely essential for building a mutually satisfying relationship. It is tempting to belittle or degrade one’s partner ideas in order to achieve momentary feeling of superiority. However, the consequences of demeaning one’s partner will create eternal resentment that, with passing time, will destroy the relationship. Consequently, one must fight, with all his or her might, the urge to put down one’s partner’s views or ideas. If an individual finds out that his or her prospective partner possesses the tendency to belittle his or her views, that individual should terminate the relationship immediately without any regrets.

Filling each other’s heart with joy and laughter

It is very important for the couple to attempt to fill their relationship with joy and laughter. It is a common fact that human beings are fond of remembering and cherishing the happy moments and trying hard to forget the sad instances in their lives. The more laughter the couple shares, the closer to each other they will get. We, as human beings, endear to our hearts those who can make us laugh.It is logical to assume that one enters a relationship with a member of the opposite gender to feel good about oneself. Sharing moments of pleasure with one’s partner is an easy route to achieve that goal. Laughter could loosen up a person to be more expressive of his or her emotions. It may be used as a mean to lighten up difficult situations that may arise between the couple.

Stimulating each other mentally, satisfying one another physically and evolving together spiritually

The couple must attempt to captivate each other’s mind since it is the center of all the senses. Most people think that they can capture someone’s heart through his/her stomach. I completely dispute that argument. For some of us, food is a mean to keep the body functioning. The couple can share the pleasure of solving a crossword, reading and discussing a book, exchanging ideas and views about a movie or a television show or just sitting and talking about any topic that holds interest to both of them. Physical satisfaction holds the key to the success or the failure of the relationship. We as human beings like to receive affection in all its forms. It instigates within us the feeling of belonging. Hugs among other physical contact should be an essential part of the couple’s life. The couple must deter from associating physical contact with making love. It is fundamental for a couple to comprehend that not every physical contact will lead to sex. It might or might not result in making love depending upon the circumstances. One can give and receive a hug without feeling obligated to have sex. I do believe that a physically satisfied couple has no need to stray outside the relationship. Bringing spirituality to the relationship would permit the couple to align their souls in harmonious coexistence. It is not necessary that the couple hold the same religious beliefs as long as they respect the fact that religion is a very personal matter between the individual and the creator. One can be spiritual without being religious and the contrary stands true. Some might argue that following the same religion would make it easier for them to practice its rituals together but that is not entirely true. One doesn’t need a specific place to fulfill one’s religious obligations. All religions never specified a particular place to connect with the higher power to be. Attempting to prevent one or another from fulfilling their religious duties would result in nothing but resentment that might turn into hatred.

Accepting each other as they are and never attempting to change one another

Most couples ignore their differences during the courtship phase believing that after marriage, they would be able to entice each other into getting rid of their annoying habits . However, history had taught us over and over that those couples were wrong on their assumptions. The only rational route to achieving harmonious coexistence with one’s partner is embracing them as a combination of adorable and irritating characteristics. One would hope that one’s partner might reciprocate and accept one as he or she is. One must ask oneself a fundamental questions before embarking upon the journey of establishing a lasting relationship with a member of the opposite gender: If our relationship evolved into a marriage, can I achieve happiness with my partner regardless of their flaws and shortcomings? Would I be able to love his or her idiosyncrasies as much as I would love the positive aspects of his or her personality because without those negative characteristics, he or she would not be her or him?
If one can answer the above questions positively, it is an indication of having a tremendous opportunity to achieve happiness bearing in mind the fact that the couple in question is compatible in other elements of the relationship too.

Permitting each other the chance to have space

The majority of couples have a misconceived notion that if they leave each other space they will drift apart. There are three fundamental categories of one’s time, time together with one’s partner, time that should be spent with family and friends and time that ought to be allocated for oneself. It is essential that each individual in the relationship should have time alone to reflect upon and evaluate one’s evolution and the progress that was made in their relationship. The time with family and friends is needed to keep one’s link to the past and acquire the feeling of belonging. The time together with one’s spouse should be used to resolve issues that may arise from time to time in all relationships or to be amorous. Attempting to make each other comfortable in talking about everything is essential for achieving harmonious coexistence with one another. A relationship starts to deteriorate when the couple begins to restrict the topics of discussion. There should be absolutely no prohibited to discuss subject among the couple. Everything must be in the open to talk about freely without any apprehension. Some might feel the need to keep secrets from each other to be mysterious. That might work in the short run but that eventually will lead to fracturing the trust that they have in each other and worked very hard to build.

Appreciating each other all the time not only on special occasion

One doesn’t need an occasion to show appreciation toward one’s significant other. Every day is a precious gift that one must use to make the other person feel wanted and appreciated. It will help keeping the romance well and alive throughout the relationship. It is common that a couple perceive romance as a mean to convince one’s interest to fall in love with and agree to be one’s significant other. As soon as they declare their love for one another or get married, all romance disappears. Some think that romance is for the movies and romance novels but can’t be practiced in real life. They attribute the lack of romance to the hectic life, which they lead. One must find the time and exert the efforts to bring some romance to the relationship and make it an essential aspect in it.

The elements of a successful relationship vary from one individual to the next and should not be taken as recipe for guaranteed success in one’s relationship with the opposite gender. Each couple can sit down, when they meet and start courting each other, to define their own criteria for a mutually satisfying relationship. They should discuss and decide upon the important aspects that they wish to have in their relationship.