Relationships often begin quite simply. There is a meeting. Then Attraction. Perhaps friendship or passion comes next. And then...next thing you know you have found yourself in a full-fledged relationship. Or perhaps you pushed for the dating to mean something. To have a title. And you forced your way into your current relationship.
However its birth, relationships often have a long and drawn-out death. This is because being in a relationship is not an easy thing. There needs to be mutual compromise, respect, interest, attraction etc. When one or more of these things is missing, your relationship is headed for trouble. Do you know when to break up? It can be a very grey area, especially if you have invested a lot of time and emotions in your relationship, but the four items below describe issues that have been sending couples to splitsville forever. Learn from their mistakes.
1. Physical abuse : Hitting. Slapping. Punching. Kicking. Shoving/Pushing. If you have just been hurt today or you hurt someone today, it's time to end the relationship. One of you needs help, and most likely both of you do. Get healthy first. Get the help you need. It's time to break up.
2. Verbal abuse. Common in many relationships, especially teen ones. If this type of behavior is not nipped in the bud it usually continues during the duration of the relationship. There are couples who have been miserably married for 10 or 20 etc. years, because they are in a verbally abusive relationship. If you are constantly being put down by someone - break up.
3. No Respect If there is no mutual respect in your relationship, then there is not a healthy partnership or probably not even hope for a healthy relationship. If you are disillusioned or disgusted by your partner, the work to gain that respect back is very difficult to achieve. It might be easier on everyone involved to let go. It's time to break up and move on.
4. No Trust. If you do not trust your partner or vice-versa, imagine how many arguments and sleepless nights you both will have. Who needs that? There are couples who try to rebuild trust after it has been broken (such as with one major incident like an infidelity), but if you are continually doubting and questioning your partner and you feel that this is probably part of his or her character- then it is time to break up.
© ™ Lisa Angelettie. All Rights Reserved.
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Lisa Angelettie, M.S.W., is a psychotherapist, writer, and speaker. She has been helping clients with all types of life issues since 1998. She is the Founder and Director of www.GirlShrink.com , a site that offers expert online advice, counseling and coaching for women on a variety of issues regarding mental health, money, health and relationships. Get information about our services and free resources by Clicking Here.