Your Fears and the Forms They Take

If you have ever felt frozen in time and space as a result of some fear inside of you, you know precisely how uncomfortable that is, how you do not like that feeling, and how it keeps you from enjoying the life you love. I would like to talk about two forms that fear assumes and how you might get around them.

The word fear has its roots in the concept of danger or peril or ambush. I think that in centuries past, there was much more of a purportedly good reason to experience fear than there is in the 21st century, so let’s see how fear has moved away from the concept of danger into its more commonly used excuses today.

The two main forms that fear assumes in our current experience are hurry and worry. Hurry has us scuttling in a rush from home, to work, to all the demanding tasks at work, back to home, grumbling at traffic, then all the demanding tasks at home, and then off to bad, still rushing and hurrying in our mind about all the things we have to do tomorrow!

These kinds of fears (the ones involving hurry) can drive us to distraction. It can involve us so much in the things we merely do, that we forget about the things we truly are, and we lose our perspective of Self to a demanding list of do this, now this, again this, ad infinitum.

Let’s think about putting a stop to the hurry fears in our lives. First, we have to become aware if we have become caught up in this kind of fear. Today and tomorrow, observe yourself and right in the middle of some “doing” ask yourself: Is the hurry fear my motivation right now? Keep score of how many times you catch yourself under the spell of the hurry fear today and tomorrow.

Because I know of few who don’t succumb to this hurry fear, I’ll move along to the next level of solution for it. Tell yourself: Stop! Can I choose to change to a sedate enjoyment vs. a hurry fear when I do this task? What feeling would you prefer to the hurry fear? Calmness? Poise? Positive action? Whatever the preferred feeling is, substitute it every time you catch yourself in thrall to the hurry fear. Soon, you’ll have produced a new habit in its place and your motivation will escalate up the scale and your enjoyment will be enhanced.

The second form that fear assumes is the worry fear. I have a dear friend who has sharpened this one to a fine point and it’s quite sad to listen to her second guess herself, assume things about others that have no resemblance to reality, and that cause her untold distress. “I know I lent you that book to read two days ago, but I want to be sure you know I have to pass it along to someone else, so when will you be done reading it?” When the girlfriends group suggests some activity, her response is always “What if there’s a roadblock?” or “What if it rains?” or “Did we leave someone out and will they be angry?”

Her worry fears are all “supposes.” They bear no resemblance to anything real. She frightens herself needlessly by conjuring up a long list of “supposes” and then she consumes her time thinking about what might happen vs. enjoying the moment. Ironically, she is completely aware she is doing this, and doesn’t see any reason to stop. She calls this behavior “loving consideration.”There is no need to hurry or worry and keep yourself in a state of suspended fear over these two bugaboos. Peace , calm, steady effort, continuous enjoyment in your life, your work, your relationships is more the norm.

Maintaining a steady pace with conscious action will get you to your goal without the fear behind hurry. And the same steady, conscious pace will get you to your goal without the anxiety or concern behind the fear worry. The decisions you make for your one life can be acknowledged and acted upon without a layer of hurry or worry. Hum a little song as you work, tucked into your own conscious decisions. Laugh with your friends and shiver worry and hurry off your shoulders as you laugh.

I Have Learned:

I have learned that if I live one moment at a time consciously, I can disappear hurry and worry or any other fear.

I have learned be looking backwards over my life, that my disappointments are about the things I didn’t do vs. the things I worried about. I have learned to just do it and step boldly into the doing.

I have learned that the obstacles I worried about always became tiny and unimportant when I moved toward the fear and walked through it.

I have learned that fear is a dark place where my negative thoughts develop. When I shine a positive light upon them, they completely disappear and the negatives never become real.