Conversations with V! ~ Love - Work It Out!

“There is no excess to love” Ralph Emerson

Getting regular exercise is important to our physical and psychological well being. Even though it had been a while since I last exercised, in my desire and determination to continue achieving my fitness goals, I recently started to work out again.

I actually love exercising. I like to perspire. I love the feeling of calories being released from my body through my sweat glands. I even like the pronounced soreness that results when initiating or resuming an exercise regimen.

After a few days I was very conscious that my morning workout was especially rough. As I completed my first quarter mile, my legs were aching so bad that I wanted to sit down between steps. I kept saying to myself, "keep walking and the pain will subside"...it didn't.

It hurt so bad that I wondered if something was wrong. Had I stretched enough before walking ? Was I about to get a leg cramp? Whatever it was, I seriously considered turning back but I knew deep within me that if I quit, it would have been even harder to get back out there again the next day. I had to persevere.

I stopped for a moment to re-stretch my legs and continued walking . As I pressed forward, I began to feel good inside. I was glad that I did give up on what I knew was good for me. The pain was real but I did not give in to it. I kept my goal in mind and kept going. To my delight and quite frankly my surprise and relief, I felt my legs becoming stronger. The added strength gave me a second wind. At this moment I felt inspired.

In my euphoria for not giving I up, I had an “aha moment” There was revelation in "pressing pass the pain". It occurred to me that such is love. I began to analogize the principles that could be gleaned and applied in building stronger love relationships.

As with exercising, we have to be willing to work out our love relationships. Love has delights, demands and difficulties. The strength of love is demonstrated in our ability to work out the challenges that arise. The absence of pain or struggle is not necessarily an indicator that love has gone awry. To the contrary.

All love relationships have growing pains. There are times when love is uncomfortable and unpleasant. Your head and heart may sorely ache as you deal with relational challenges. If the relationship is worth it, you have to press pass the pain. Never give up on real love. Just as with my morning workout, you will be tempted to give up too soon because the pain of love can seem too daunting. Good cardio-vascular health requites increased stamina so does a healthy heart of love.

When love aches, you may find yourself postulating that something must be really wrong. But like exercise , love will sometimes hurt. Please note that I did not say “harm”, for true love does no harm! It is imperative that you clearly define this difference.

When you persevere in love, there are wonderful benefits that will result because while you addressed the issue, you did not acquiesce to the pain or problems. Rather, you chose to work out your love.

Consider these eight motivators that can help you to build your strength and stamina as you work out love:

•First, it is important to have clearly defined love goals. In order to have love relationships that are satisfying, successful and sustained, you have to know what you want and have a plan for how you are going to achieve your shared goals.

•You must establish accountability. Because of the challenges of love relationships, sometimes it may seem easier to just give up. When you have established parameters and people to whom you are accountable, it gives you added reinforcement to press through the tough times.

•Be prepared to stretch when it hurts. When you are feeling the pangs of love it is time to stretch. Be ready to go beyond what restricts your growth.

•Recall the goals for your relationship that you established together.

•Reflect upon the qualities in your mate that are most valuable to you.

•Envision the future joy of how great you will feel by overcoming the presenting difficulty.

•Quitting must never be an option.

•Emerge as a champion…in love!

When it comes to loving someone it is important to understand that there will be aches and pains through which you must be willing to work in order to succeed. True love has no limits..............work it out!