We in the online dating business are, we hope bringing together hearts and minds in a loving and caring relationship, but the statistics tell us that in the west now, one third, or more of marriages are doomed to divorce and separation, that is a lot of pain, frustration and dissapointment. Why has divorce reached epedemic proportions?
What are the root core dynamics of a successful relationship? Clearly a mutual attraction is going to be at, or near the top of the list, but mutual attraction of what qualities? Good looks, good body, sexy etc., etc., these are good starting points, but only starting points.
For a relationship to survive in the 21st century the bond has to be deeper and given care, attention and time this appreciation can grow, but and this is a big but, this deeper level of mutual understanding and respect should be allowed to develop and evolve before marriage , this should be part of the courtship, or engagement process. Why? Simply because without this bedrock of pride, appreciation and respect for your partner the foundation of the union is as sand in a storm and susceptible to any external circumstance.
Yes sex appeal and physical beauty is a wonderful thing, as is that first rush of love, it has been the root of song writting and poetry for an age, but can it stand the test of time, the reality of surviving in these difficult economic times? Bringing up children, shopping, maintaining a house, mortgage, career etc., can soon take the gloss off of those initial powerful feelings of lust, longing and wanting.
It is a strange thing that whilst a lot of effort is put into teaching us many things in our formative years, forming and sustaining a relationship, marriage and raising children is something we are left to get on with as best we can, at least in the west and this could in part account for the huge number of marriages that end in failure, dissapointment and bitterness.
Statistically second marriages have even less chance of surviving than the first and if we look at the rich and famous that often marry four, five, or more times, the chances of the union surviving seem to decrease rather than increase as the process is repeated.
So in reverse to the saying, "The grass is not neccesarily greener on the other side of the hill".Try to get it right first time.
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