How Giving Back Can Change Your Life

I grew up in the South. As a result of that I helped my mom make a lot of casseroles and salads for those who were sick and in need. It was just what you did. We belonged to a Presbyterian church and every Sunday we picked up Mrs. Browman, a woman who lived to be 100, every week so she could sing in the choir. We also went each week to visit Chief and Bernie Dowell, an older couple in the church. Bernie had alzheimers and so I learned how to communicate with her so that my mom could talk with Chief and give him some adult stimulation. I loved to talk with Bernie and listen to her tell me stories that made no sense. I wiped her drool and drew pictures with her. I learned empathy and compassion and love...not in a classroom or a church but in my heart.

The way we lived our lives growing up and the examples my mother set, encouraged me to have a life of volunteering . When I had my own children, two boys, I wanted them to receive that same gift. When they were four and five we had a diaper drive for an orphanage in Haiti. A friend of mine, Susie Krabacher, owns and runs the organization so it was a natural fit. My boys helped me make signs and go visit the schools and local youth organizations. All of a sudden we had the whole community involved and we had a living room and garage full of diapers and clothes and toys. I rented a u-haul, packed it up and drove it to Denver where the things were shipped off to Haiti. My boys to this day still save their clothes and toys and ask to send them to the Haiti kids. My friend Susie sent us pictures of the kids with their new things we had sent. Once again, they learned love and compassion in their hearts (as did the others who helped collect diapers, etc. for the diaper drive.)

One of my jobs now is as a co-director for Pathfinders, a non-profit that makes meals, runs errands, etc for people going through cancer treatment. We have just expanded to helping people with other needs (diseases, fibromyalgia, car accidents,etc). We have 70 volunteers in our valley in Colorado and we email out our needs each week and the volunteers respond and sign up.

What I love is to hear people comment on how volunteering has changed their lives. One of our patients is a 40 year old woman with two kids who has had 17 rounds of chemo and is now doing radiation. She is fighting to live and watch her children grow. When our volunteers take her meals and see her fighting with courage, often I receive phone calls of tears. It puts everything in life in perspective. How often are we concerned about the economy or the stock market or the price of gas? Well, this woman wants just be alive next year to watch her baby turn 4. How's that for reality? It rocks mine!

Giving back can also be a way to heal. If you have lost a loved one or a relationship has failed, giving back can help you focus on other things. It's a way to open up your heart to give and love again. It's about getting out into the world again. You can start with small commitments and do more when and if you feel like it. Giving of yourself can even be a way to honor the one you lost. One man who lost his wife began to read during the children's story hour at the library because his wife had loved to read and had always loved children. It was a form of healing for him. He said he felt closer to her there in the library than anywhere else.

I think giving back and/or volunteering doesn't have to be a job, as mine is. It can mean making a meal, taking clothes to a homeless shelter, working in a soup kitchen one day a month...and taking someone along with us to help them grow as well. It can be scary and yet conquering our fears, stepping out of our comfort zone, is how we grow. It's also how we open up our hearts in a deeper more meaningful way. It takes courage and that's an important thing to draw on these days.

I suggest finding something that grabs at your heart strings. it can be an organization you have a passion for, or a simple interest like: homelessness. Call a local organization (or a national one) and let them know what you are good at, what you can offer. In Pathfinders, we have men that don't cook but can do handy work. Many towns have volunteer fairs. Go to one...see what is out there.

Once you begin to help others, to give back, you begin to find yourself thinking and reflecting more on others and their needs, rather than your own. You begin to be thankful for your own health, your own abilities and to realize how important it is to reach out.

I find when I give back that I live more in a state of humbleness and thankfulness. I feel better about myself and want to do it more and more. I also love the gift it is to my own children when I allow them to be a part of the process. Our conversations turn away from the normal things like school or homework and become about who we are helping and why. My kids become more thoughtful and thankful. What more could we ask for?!