Bozo or a Pro? 10 Ways Speakers Bureaus Know

You think you have what it takes to become a professional speaker. After doing a little web surfing, you call a speakers bureau, introduce yourself and say, "I'm a terrific speaker. I'd like to talk to you about getting on the speaking circuit."
"I see," the person says. "What do you speak about?"
"Oh, we-e-ell," you say with a confident chuckle in your voice, "I can speak about anything!"
"Really? And what is your fee?"
"Well, I haven't been paid to speak yet, but I was thinking maybe five hundred dollars to start. Does that sound okay?"
Since you've made five horrible mistakes in the first twenty seconds of the conversation, the bureau rep already has you pegged as a Bozo. You've rung that bell loudly and clearly, and nothing you can say now will unring it.
What did you say that was so wrong?
1. Anyone who says they'd like to get on "the speaking circuit," won't be getting on it anytime soon for two reasons:
a) It doesn't exist
b) They uttered the phrase while talking to a bureau rep

A "circuit" suggests there's a regular string of set venues that book speakers on a regular basis, like comedy clubs, and nothing could be further from the truth. True, established companies have annual conferences, but their needs change every year, as do the locations of the meetings. There is no "speaking circuit."

2. Anyone who says they can speak "about anything" has exposed himself as an amateur who doesn't know the very first thing a professional has to know, i.e: exactly what he/she speaks about and an "elevator speech" she can perform on cue, anytime, anywhere. An elevator speech is a summation of what you do in the time it takes an elevator to go, say, three floors, e.g., "My specialty is Customer Service , and the Ten Proven Ways to use it to build customer loyalty while attracting new buyers."
"I can talk about anything," means you can't speak professionally about anything, because you've never done it.

3. If you "haven't been paid to speak yet," most bureaus aren't interested in talking with you. Speakers bureaus are not in the business of training amateurs how to speak professionally. An analogy would be if you approached the New York Yankees and said, "Hi, I've never played baseball in my life and don't even own a glove, but I think it'd be really cool to be a major league baseball player. What can you do for me so I can become one?" What they'll do is get security to escort you out, and a speakers bureau will do the equivalent.
Speakers become professionals the same way ball players do: they have a passion for their craft, they work tirelessly at it for no pay, they continue to try to improve every facet of their game, they struggle in the minors for very little pay, and when they're ready to play in the Big Leagues, an agent is happy to represent them because they've put in the work and sacrifice that such a step requires.

4. "I was thinking maybe $500."

There are a few bureaus who have speakers on their rosters who speak for only $500, but they're rare. Most serious bureaus won't work with anyone who charges less than $2,000, and for many the lowest fee is around $5,000--the commission they'd earn on a lower fee wouldn't be worth the work they'd have to do. Not all, but many of the bureaus have web sites that list their speakers in categories like "Under $5,000," "Under $10,000," and so on, which can give you a clear indication of what the speakers on their rosters charge. Beginners think that lower fees will attract buyers, but professional planners know that any speaker charging $500 is an inexperienced wannabe.

5. "Does that sound okay?"

If you ask a bureau representative what they think you should charge, you've given yourself away as a rank and uninformed novice. Speakers establish very firm fee structures so all the bureaus who represent them quote the same fees. It reflects badly on a bureau if a potential client says to them, "Really? But The Discount Bureau said I could hire him for only $5,000. Why are you charging so much more?"

6. "I've never taped one of my speeches, so I don't have a video."

Back in the day, it wasn't unheard of for a speaker not to have tape because equipment was expensive and complicated. That excuse died with the advent of the digital age. Go to any speaker's or bureau website and chances are very good that you can click on a video screen and see the speaker perform. That's the way business is done these days.

7. "What do you mean by 'technical requirements?"

Just as professional speakers come in all shapes and sizes, so do their technical requirements. Some just say "give me a microphone and I'll be fine." Others have PowerPoint/Keynote presentations, which can be either with or without audio, or video that must be projected, or specific lighting cues to bring drama to their presentations, or songs on CDs that must play on a given cue. You must know your A/V (Audio/Video) requirements before you speak to a bureau.

8. "Now, how exactly does this work? Do I have to pay you to try to get me gigs or what?"

For one thing, using the term "gig" is considered a bit gauche in the speaking business, and is used only among close friends if at all. "Engagements," "bookings," or "events" are the preferred terms. If you cold-call a bureau and have to ask how their business works, you haven't done your homework, they know you're sadly uninformed, and most of them will be gritting their teeth as they patiently explain to the 500th Bozo "how it works:"No reputable bureau will require you to pay them anything to join their roster. If after studying your promotional materials and video the bureau decides you're a good fit for their roster and that they can get you bookings, they'll create a page on their website for you that describes what you do, displays your picture, and usually has a link to your video. The good ones will also actively seek out opportunities for you. You only pay a commission—25% is standard—when they book an event for you.

9. "I don't have a promo pack or a website up yet."

Then you've got no way to sell whatever you think you have to offer. Roughly 98% of the business is done online now. If you don't have a website, you're not really in the game. If you don't have a promo pack--which includes your bio, photo, topics and services, fees, technical requirements, and video--then nobody knows who you are, what you do, or why anybody should hire you. In the submission guidelines on some bureaus' websites, you'll see a requirement that all the materials you submit be "bureau friendly." That means it doesn't have yours or anyone else's contact information on it.

10. "I've been in the Widget-Making Business for 30 years, so you give me any topic about it and I can talk for hours."

Just because you know your own industry inside and out doesn't make you a great presenter. Talking about a topic is totally different than performing a compelling presentation about it, and giving a pep talk to 20 people in your shop doesn't prepare you for speaking to 1,500 strangers in a convention hall. Being an expert about something is a great asset, but creating a well-constructed speech and performing it requires a whole different set of skills.

There are dozens of other ways novices regularly reveal themselves, but those are the most common. To see what a professional DOES say to a bureau rep, see my article, “How to Approach Speakers Bureaus.”
To learn everything you need to know to go pro, check out my eBook, "The Fast Track to Professional Speaking" at http://fasttrackspeaking.com .