When it finds a safe haven, a fox who has been chased by a predator, will stop and shake. Sometimes it will shake its body for almost an hour to free itself of the trauma of fear. Then, renewed, it moves on.
The fox came to mind last night, at a mid-way point in a Hellinger Constellation workshop. Thirty people had assembled to experience this profound experience that takes a single burning issue for one individual (reflecting concerns of many) and changes the context of the problem so that a surge of healing energy ripples through multiple generations, past and present.
The burning issue might be an impending divorce , or fear of someone close threatening suicide, or simply being stuck and without energy to pursue one's life purpose.
The way this "game" is played, is that the person with the burning issue selects people from the group to represent his or her family members and after a few moments centering in their new role, they are asked to interact with each other ... guided by the workshop leader. At each stuck point, point of anger, or withdrawal, they are asked to describe their feelings. This continues, with questions, movements, interactions between family "actors" until the tension that has wound tight, perhaps through centuries, is untangled.
There is a sense of peace . Like the fox who has found the safe haven.
Yet everyone in the room has experienced some sense of the trauma and family dynamic as it unfolds. So I suggested that we all stand up and shake off the experience. Shake it off like the fox releases fear.
Another ritual was added to this, that served to create closure for the actors. The person with the original burning issue told each one of them that they were released from their role as "parent, son, deceased son, father, mother.... and so on." Each, then, was asked to turn away from this person and think of their own family and embrace it.
Highly dramatic, and highly effective.
I'm writing this experience today to suggest that we need to learn multiple ways to shake off fear. It surrounds us. We're awash in it. Yet with each breath, we're also surrounded by life and beauty and harmony.
Shake, release, and dance often.
How do you release fear, in the moment?
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