When was the last time you felt upset or became angry, frustrated or disillusioned with something that has happened in your life or in your business?
A missed call, a missed opportunity, an angry client, a lost account or any negative event can often set us into a tail-spin of negativity.
I have heard people say that bad things come in threes. What I know to be true is that the very thought of ‘oh no! What next?” when the first unfortunate event presents itself is the energy that attracts the two ‘more things’ that follow! It is interesting that when that third bad thing happens, we breathe a sigh of relief knowing it is the last of the bad luck!
In reality – the mere relief and thought of excitement that occurs after the third bit of ‘bad luck’ is what changes the direction of energy and begins attracting good things.
Much of our everyday language and many of our folk lores and wives tales keep us locked in repetitive negative thought patterns and behaviours. But we can turn things around! How?
First we need to understand that feelings we have and feel are the great attractor. How we feel about something sets a vibrational level – and attracts like feelings and events that will support those feelings. The good news is that we can change our feelings. The bad news is that many of us get ‘locked’ or trapped in feelings that can set a negative cycle into action. This is because many people become their feelings – or wear them. They say things like ‘I am angry” or “I am sad”. They mistakenly become their feelings and become trapped in them.
It is very important to recognize we are not our feelings – we only feel them. And as soon as we feel them we can choose to stop feeling them.
The “Sonoma Method” provides a simple and effective process for this. The process is to recognize and accept the feeling for what it is. Identify the physical feeling that accompanies it. Then, simply allow yourself to feel the feeling and ask yourself “could I welcome the feeling?” Accept and welcome the feeling instead of fighting and resisting it!. Then ask yourself – “Could I let this feeling go?” If the answer is yes – ask yourself “Would I let this go?” And then finally answer the question “when?”
This is a very effective way to begin to acknowledge and accept a feeling for what it is – simply a feeling that may or may not serve a purpose. Studies have shown that when we allow ourselves to fully feel a feeling – the feeling lasts less than 1 minute. It is only when we bury or suppress our feelings that we ‘become’ our feelings or that we hold on to them.
Holding and harbouring negative feelings put us in a negative state – thereby attracting more negative into our lives.
Sometimes things happen that we do not feel positive about – and that is ok. The trick is to allow yourself to feel the feeling and then release it as soon as you are able. Then and only then can we begin to see the opportunities that await – and because we are in an open an excited mindset – we can begin attracting great things and creating the kind of success we want.
"One of the keys to effective communication and dispute resolution is understanding ourselves andhow we think and also understanding how others are wired as well. Each of us has personality styles that are unique to ourselves - however there are also patterns as well. When you understand the differing personality styles and their blends - you begin to see people as they are with more understanding! For more information on understanding personality styles please contact Mandie at president@roaringwomen.com."
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Mandie Crawford is a marketing expert, business coach, trainer and motivational speaker who was recently awarded Calgary Business Woman of the Year for her contributions to the business community.
Mandie also has skills and expertise in providing high quality guidance in time management and system implementation for small a medium sized businesses. Her passion as a business and professional development coach is to helps women recognize their value and self worth.
She is the President of Roaring Women Ltd which is Canada’s premier national business support group for women in business that focuses on connecting, promoting and educating women in business. In her goal to encourage and educate women in building business across the country, she launched and completed a 6 week coaching tour in partnership with Staple Business Depot in 2008 where she coached over 600 women in business.
Mandie is mother to four children and 3 stepchildren and one highly energetic chocolate lab! Ms Crawford is also a former award winning police officer with Halton Regional Police.