It may be just me but I find women much more defensive than men. To be honest it can be hard work sometimes dealing with some insecurities but more often than not if it comes from a man we get defensive but if it comes from another woman then oh my god it can get a totally over the top reaction and will haunt us for days.
If you ask a question and don't like the answer you may get why do you ask it in the first place? I would say don't ask if your bottom looks big in those jeans because an honest friend will answer and it may not be what you want to hear. There is nothing like honestly to make you defensive. It is how you react to this situation. You can accept the friend loves you and is telling you the truth for your own good or you can scream and shout at the injustice of being upset by finding out that your bottom does look huge and the friend, who was being kind by lying, has unintentionally made you feel stupid.
So now the thing I tend to do is what suits me and the only time I get defensive is at work. That is a part of my makeup and from things that have happened in my life. I am a business woman and when I get criticized I immediately bite back to defend myself rather than stop and think. Not the best thing to do in business especially if it the boss doing the criticizing. When it happens I feel stupid and at my age I do not like that feeling. Rather than do that I should listen and take on board what is being said and not do it again.
I prefer a quiet life and for me to get that I go through my working day the best way I can and when I get home I get a nice glass of wine and then go to my chill out place which is my conservatory that I have made special for me. I have my Hunter ceiling fan with remote so I can just calm myself and not worry about work.
My advice is to either not ask for anyone’s opinion then you won’t have to defend yours or ask but be prepared to hear something you don’t really want to and take on board that other people do not always see things the same way as you do.
I am writing this shortly after I have had one of each of the experiences I mention. A friend does not like the colour of my hair I just had dyed and my boss has had a word about something I did wrong in his eyes so I do appreciate that we all have these issues one way or another but it is how we choose to deal with them. The Hunter fan has a brilliant calming effect on me www.hunterfan.co.uk