Who is in control of you? Well, if you're not accepting responsibility for your life or what happens in it, it isn't you! In order for you to really create the life you want, then you have to accept responsibility for everything that happens in it. If you accept responsibility for something and want to change it, then your mind will start developing a plan of action. So if you want your significant other to show you more love and appreciation, then accept responsibility for making this happen and you will then make the necessary changes to get more love and appreciation.
Think about it like this, if you don't take control over your life and how you think about it, then who will? I will tell you, everyone else around you! People recognize this in you and push their agenda. Do you really want your neighbor, your mother-in-law, your co-workers to have control over you and your life? I don't! If you don't accept responsibility in creating the life you want, then those around you will and shape how you fit into the life they want.
"You don't drown by falling in the water; you drown by staying there." - Edwin Louis Cole 1922-2002
True happiness will not come in the form of another person or another person's changes. When people make requests for others to change and if things do change, they still aren't happy and that is because they themselves need to change. To be truly happy and successful you will want to be the one that changes. Those who are the happiest and most successful in life are those who are flexible enough to adapt to different situations. It will take much less time and energy to change yourself and in the end you will see change in the other person.
Okay, so you get the idea that it is you who needs to change, right? The first thing you need to do is realize you have options and the ability to choose the ones that will benefit you. It is your life and you can choose to change it if you want to- no one else is going to do it for you!
Decide and take action:
- Decide what to change
- Write it down
- Imagine (getting it)
- Implement your plan
- Remain flexible and accept feedback
Once you choose what you want to change, write it down and begin thinking of ways you can change it. List your wants and ideas. This is a helpful way to start, as you imagine the changes and list your thoughts out. The reason you need to imagine the changes is so you can get an idea of what it will look like, feel like, and sound like. Once you think and write out your plan, then begin implementing it. Remain open to the fact that you can modify and change your plan to best accomplish the desired change. Remember, it is only you who can change, so you have to have a plan that you like!
Finally, since this is new to you, you need to practice! Yes, once you decide your course of action you need to follow through with it. When it is new, you may need to force yourself to implement your plan. The more you do this, the better you get at it and the easier it is to change. So, go for it!
Terry M. Drake is a Licensed Social Worker, National Board Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist, Certified Trainer of Ericksonian Hypnosis and NLP. He has spent the last 10 years learning about himself and others, through his academic studies resulting in his MSW and his professional studies, as a family therapist, clinical supervisor and vast training and research into hypnosis, neuro-linguistic programming, the law of attraction and positive psychology. Terry is now ready to put these skills to use as an author, speaker, consultant and coach. Terry lives in Wellsboro, Pa with his wife and children.