What To Do When Life Changes

Its not uncommon for us to resist change. In fact the reality is that resisting change is the norm. Whether its the death of a loved one, a new idea, recognition that what we thought was wrong is actually true, or any number of things, we will resist them. Here are some thoughts on dealing with change.

1. Change is constant

The only thing that stays the same in our small understanding and view of the world is change. Instead of holding onto, or becoming attached, to how things were, look at how things are.

2. Change creates opportunity

As things change it is an opportunity to learn something new. It may something about you or something about the world around you. Whatever it is, take hold of the opportunity and learn all you can.

3. Stay open minded

Patience is one of the most important aspects to dealing with change. Through it you will more easily see the answer and be able to deal with, and learn from the change.

4. Look at the big picture

Often our resistance to change is because it was not part of our perception. In our minds eye we create this image or idea of how things should be, and how they should go in the future. Taking some time and analyzing the image you have of how things are now, vs how you believed they should have been can help you deal with the change.

5. Remove judgement

Perception is based on belief. Your experiences are then filtered through these beliefs and judgement is passed, forming opinions, attachment, and making even more beliefs or reinforcing existing ones. Letting go of how you think things SHOULD be, NEED to be, or HAVE to be, will allow you to stay in the moment, even if that just means you are distraught and confused. This does not mean you distance yourself from caring. It is our nature to care. It means that your emotional state is not determined by what happens outside of you.

6. Only you have control of you

Nobody else has control over you more than you do. If you get upset, depressed, happy, or have any other emotion it is because you allowed yourself to do so. The flip side to this is that you cannot change others, they must decide to do it themselves. In order to really deal with change you need to accept you can change your own life. This will allow you to move around changes rather than be abruptly stopped by them.

7. It takes time

Dealing with change is not always overcome in the blink of an eye. Some things may require more time than others. The death of loved ones can take far longer than the loss of a job, or need to move, so be kind to yourself and give the time needed.

8. Have purpose

Having a destination in mind is always helpful when going through life. Dreams never happen until they are written down and action taken towards them. The other side to this is that while its great to achieve dreams , its better to enjoy the process of getting there. If you want to be a rock star, yet never make it to radio, does that make you any less of one? NO! Many times we get attached to the end result as the ideal, and disregard what it means to make it there. The journey is more important than the destination.

9. Stop putting yourself down

Things happen and goals may not be reached, people may be lost, opportunities may close. Getting upset and complaining initially is understandable. Constant complaining about what should have been, or could have been, is a waste of time. It is not going to do you any good, and really does push others around you away. We all want to be happy, and having someone with constant negativity drains us of the precious time, and energy we have. Let go of the past and look at new options.

10. Move forward

Staying rooted in past conditions, or situations is only going to drive you even more crazy. When things change look toward the future possibilities. Seek out new experiences and be proud of where you are, not where you have been. Create your life now, not what once was.

Finding the ability to cope and succeed with how life changes can be a difficult task. With these ideas in mind you will be able to roll with those change instead of be buffeted back by them.