Stay or Leave?
When I wrote about healing from the Narcissist, I used the paradigm that the spouse had physically left the marriage. Today we are going to address physically staying or leaving but always with the goal of emotionally leaving the emotional abuse of the spouse with borderline ... Views:1168
Yesterday I was weeding in my back yard and I had a realization. Weeding the yard is so much easier than weeding out our thoughts. Weeding out unwanted thoughts needs tools. What are your tools for weeding out ineffective thoughts? What about ones that actually take you down? Do you have ... Views:1160
April is Divorce Recovery Month! We asked a number of contributors to the DivorceForce Community for their input on "divorce recovery" and here is part 1 of some of the responses we received.
**Anne Brown PhD RNMSCS http://www.backbonepower.com - Make a list of 2-3 things you want to be ... Views:1157
It's April, your divorce papers are signed, and it's a new chapter, scary, exciting, change, and your choice if you recover or crash land!
Let's make a list of things to remember.
1. Change is good.
2. Keep a journal.
3. Make a schedule for time when the children are with you AND for when ... Views:1155
If you have been affected by divorce or separation or are considering ending your marriage you're going to want to tune in to DivorceForce Survival Guide. In each episode, DivorceForce CEO Gregory Frank tackles various aspects of divorce through candid discussions with leading industry experts ... Views:1148
"The best security blanket a child can have is parents who respect each other." ~ Jane Bauston
Do treat your Children like Gold!
Remember you just turned your children's life (and they didn't have a vote) upside down. They now have to decipher new rules, new logistics, probable logistical ... Views:1145
“Stop Asking why they keep doing it and start asking why you keep allowing it.” ~Charles J. Orlando
Today we are going to address leaving a narcissist emotionally and physically. Many people feel they cannot leave physically because of logistical concerns (e.g. money, no support system, ... Views:1143
Whether this is your first time in the dating world or you are newly divorced and entering the dating world, there are some steps you can take to help guard against divorce. There are no guarantees and why not do everything you can to live happily ever after with that someone special?
Guess ... Views:1129
"You must do the things you think you can't do." Eleanor Roosevelt
There are women all over the world risking their lives to become educated. We must support them. How can we do that? We must begin to lift the veil of unconsciousness. We can't pretend the emotional/physical abuse that is ... Views:1126
What are the components of successful people? So many people over time have dissected this and put the pieces together backwards and forwards. They have used it to sell courses. The formula has been used to sell everything imaginable. I don’t want to sell you anything. I want to give you ... Views:1125
No one plans on getting divorced when they get married, and yet that is a possible outcome for some. If you have spent your life mastering people pleasing, always saying yes, being diplomatic, and putting everyone else's needs before yours, you will suffer tremendously if you are confronted with ... Views:1122
Are you ready to die?
Most people aren’t? Yet if we are not willing to be with death it will hunt us down. Last week I had a gigantic dose of people sitting with death. My contractor’s 10-year-old daughter with an inoperable brain tumor on the brain stem. Next a dear friend called with breast ... Views:1084
Honor your children by fighting for your marriage and if you decide to divorce, do it with dignity!
If you are at the point of asking this question, you have some distinctions to consider.
Never threaten your partner with divorce to get his/her attention. Never make the divorce decision ... Views:1045
Title: Backbone Power: The Science of Saying No
Genre: Co-dependency/Stress Management
Synopsis: A No Nonsense approach to Making Decisions. A Self Help Guide to having Backbone and Integrity in all your choices, short term and long term.
Is this decision going to be good for Me? To ... Views:1027
1. Physical Abuse
In theory, in this country, no one can touch you as adults in any way (physically or sexually) without your permission. At the horrendous end of the spectrum of physical abuse are the stories we hear about the beating, burning, rape, mutilation, sex slaves, etc. and at the ... Views:1021
People-pleasers are at risk in the domains of finance, love, sex, family, and friendship.
How is it that we can manage a successful business but still have a failed personal life? Extending a hand to others after taking care of yourself is how we make the world a better place for our children ... Views:999
People-pleasers are at risk in the domains of finance, love, sex, family, and friendship.
How is it that we can manage a successful business but still have a failed personal life? Extending a hand to others after taking care of yourself is how we make the world a better place for our children ... Views:995
A No-Nonsense Approach to Making Decisions. A Self Help Guide to having Backbone and Integrity in all your choices, short term, and long term.
Is this decision going to be good for Me? To help Me be successful? How do I make the right choices? What are the effects and the outcomes? Ask ... Views:969
How To Set Healthy Boundaries and Live Life with Authenticity | Get Backbone Power Audiobook by Dr. Anne Brown -a psychotherapist, speaker, author, coach. https://backbonepower.com/backbonepower-audiobook/
A No-Nonsense Approach to Making Decisions. A Self Help Guide to having Backbone and ... Views:961
There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.” Aristotle
OK we all know this right? And yet how many of us enter into the most intimate relationship with our partners “saying nothing.” For those who still can’t discuss sex, it is time to lift that veil. ... Views:948
It is 2016 and we are seriously off track!
1. Delete Hate
Today, beginning today, please, we must all stop saying, writing, cheering, promoting, and engaging in hate. It is such a sign of fear, ignorance, insecurity, prejudice, and an outdated belief. We need different ideas, backgrounds, ... Views:945
Take the time for a self-journey. Getting on a journey with your self requires courage, consciousness, feedback from a trusted advisor, vulnerability, insight, and the refreshing ability to apologize for starters. Knowing your strengths and challenges, competences and incompetence’s, where you ... Views:911
" You will never cross the ocean until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore." Christopher Columbus
Denial is a mechanism we use consciously or unconsciously to alter reality, usually to pretend it is better than it is. We don't want to see aspects of life for which we have no ... Views:910
People-pleasers are at risk in the domains of finance, love, sex, family, and friendship.
How is it that we can manage a successful business but still have a failed personal life? Extending a hand to others after taking care of yourself is how we make the world a better place for our children ... Views:906
A Voice For Our Veterans
In honor of Veterans Day, we are going to begin to give a voice to our veterans in Part One. In Part Two we are going to offer insights on how we can be better friends, countrymen/women when our veterans return and actually when they are away as well.
For the purpose ... Views:895
Should I leave my relationship? This question is probably one of the top ten reasons people have come into my practice asking for help. I am a therapist who prefers to work preventatively. I would like someone who is in the market for a relationship to already be in therapy. A good therapist can ... Views:894
People-pleasers are at risk in the domains of finance, love, sex, family, and friendship.
How is it that we can manage a successful business but still have a failed personal life? Extending a hand to others after taking care of yourself is how we make the world a better place for our children ... Views:883
People-pleasers are at risk in the domains of finance, love, sex, family, and friendship.
How is it that we can manage a successful business but still have a failed personal life? Extending a hand to others after taking care of yourself is how we make the world a better place for our ... Views:876
"You are confined only by the walls you build yourself!"
Rationalizing is something we do when we don't want to face the truth.
Rationalizing is something we use to make what just happen ok in our eyes.
Rationalizing is a tool for survival when things are too bad to ... Views:862
Recap
So, to recap Part One, we discussed our history as women as it relates to our relationship with men and how up until the middle to late 20th century we didn’t have laws to protect us from abuses. Women, along with children, were the property of men. Men could abuse us with no ... Views:859
Dear Mom and Dad,
Please remember my life has been turned upside down and I never had a vote. I don't have a rulebook to negotiate waters totally unfamiliar to me. It is really hard for me to understand that my family has broken up. I feel scared that I will loose one or both of you. I don't ... Views:857
Our History
When we look at the history of women as it relates to men, we see that it has only been in the last 100 years that we were given rights. Before we had rights, women and children were the property of men. Men could do with us whatever they pleased, whenever they pleased. This ... Views:848
We Are All One!
We are living during a time where we have forgotten we are all one. We all have muscles, bones, organs, tissues, blood and we come in different colored packages. We also have different ideas. We have to find ways to connect through our similar beliefs and learn through our ... Views:847
Backbone Power, an easy to understand book, tackles the question of whether being a “people pleaser” is a virtue or a curse. Backbone Power takes the reader on a self-guided tour of their deepest thought processes to arrive at an understanding of the true “Self”. As they gain a better ... Views:834
In Part One: https://www.recovery.org/pro/articles/challenges-to-having-a-holiday-in-recovery, we discussed many breakdowns reported to me by clients which can ruin the holidays. Now we will look at some tools to deal with those breakdowns. As I said in Part One having a strong mind is an ... Views:776
Remember Sociopaths are opportunists and you are at risk for being that opportunity for him. I need five commitments from you if you want to avoid the wake of destruction that comes from dating a Sociopath.
1. Commitment to your Heart:
Healing a broken heart takes time in pain and sorrow. ... Views:766
Unfortunately, there are several types of people who are going to be contentious in a divorce and they have to be handled differently. And many personnel involved in the divorce process do not prepare or educate the spouse of a contentious person correctly. If you have ever been told or if you ... Views:754
The Challenges to Having a Holiday in Recovery
One of my twitter followers suggested I write about designing a holiday that nourishes our soul. Not a holiday designed to get others approve of us. These are simple powerful words. These words include everything I write and teach in order to ... Views:740
What is this phenomenon “I need to make everyone in the world like me or people-pleasing?” This is a tough concept because in one-way people-pleasers are nice to be around. If we look deeper we have to ask at what cost? People pleasing can affect both men and women. The history of women, ... Views:730
Backbone Tools: From Codependency to Dignity
If you grew up in a family with lots of dysfunction e.g. alcohol, anger, illness physical or mental, Borderline/narcissistic (it is all about me), or any other phenomena other than adult people being normal loving parents to their children you may ... Views:723
Take Your Recovery From Narcissistic Abuse To The Next Level!
From the safety of your home learn trauma-transforming steps to not only empower you but also make notable reductions in the vast array of trauma symptoms.
What would it be like to have an action-oriented roadmap for recovery ... Views:686
we introduced the importance of being able to say No. For the purpose of our discussion this week we are talking about people with equal status in the relationship. This does not include parent-child, teacher-student, or employer-employee. These relationships have different guidelines for ... Views:663
How do I know if I am acting codependent or loving? This is an excellent question and often confusing for many for different reasons. Let’s look at the definitions of codependent and loving and see what we find.
Love: An intense feeling of deep affection. For the purpose of this article, we ... Views:650
A child’s letter to his divorced parents.
Dear Mom and Dad,
The operative word here Mom and Dad is My events. You are a guest here and I ask you to act accordingly. My events include but are not limited to:
1. My teacher’s conferences.
2. My athletic events.
3. My musical recitals.
4. ... Views:636
Who is a Sociopath?
"Sociopaths/Psychopaths are fun, exciting, seductive, charismatic, impulsive, sexy, AND unfortunately, individuals diagnosed with an anti-social personality disorder." — Dr. Anne Brown
What does this mean to you? After you have been drawn into their world, then you ... Views:635
Who is a Sociopath? Sociopaths/Psychopaths are fun, exciting, seductive, charismatic, impulsive, sexy, AND unfortunately, individuals diagnosed with an anti-social personality disorder.
Dr. Anne Brown
What does this mean to you? After you have been drawn into their world, then you are going ... Views:627
Remember Sociopaths are opportunists and you are at risk for being that opportunity for him. I need five commitments from you if you want to avoid the wake of destruction that comes from dating a Sociopath.
1. Commitment to your Heart:
Healing a broken heart takes time in pain and sorrow. ... Views:613
Remember our question from Part One: How do I know if I am acting codependent or loving? Also, let’s review our definitions of “codependent” and “loving”:
Love: An intense feeling of deep affection. For the purpose of this article, we will include some more distinctions of ... Views:597