UNTRUTH IN ADVERTISING

With the advent of TiVo and digital video recorders embedded into cable and satellite broadcast services, it’s a wonder that people still watch commercials anymore. But I’m one of those viewers who find many of the commercials to be more enjoyable than a lot of the actual programming. Why, I actually look forward to them. Who among us hasn’t felt conflicted while watching the Super Bowl, in desperate need of a bathroom break, yet compelled to squeeze tight and keep our backsides planted on the couch lest we miss the latest masterpiece offered up by Madison Avenue during the next time-out.

Now, don’t get me wrong; I don’t fast-forward through American Idol to get to the commercials – but I do find many of them to be fairly entertaining. And I particularly love the ones that attempt to manipulate reality or, should I say, the ones that blatantly and unashamedly convey complete and utter falsehood.

Shame on you, Mad-Men. But I do appreciate your sly and crafty talents.

Some of the most talented, ingenious and creative minds in this country gravitate into the world of advertising. It has always been so. Commercial “spots” – as they are commonly referred to in the biz – are actually miniature 30- or 60-second movies, many boasting humorous storylines. Humor has always been the primary delivery system for the advertising message. Only public service spots and charity pitches are designed to activate brooding emotions like guilt, sadness or fear. I would venture to guess that there will probably never be a television commercial designed to motivate me into buying a particular brand of toilet paper by portraying a scene in which Brand-X breaks apart in your hand at the “moment of truth.”

But I digress.

Two commercials of recent vintage have stuck in my craw because of their brazen disregard for reality. A certain fried chicken franchise (which shall remain nameless) has a commercial running in which they show a happy family gathered around the dinner table. Everyone is reaching hungrily for the chicken, which is contained inside the franchise’s signature container – okay, okay, it’s a cardboard bucket. But here’s the thing… the chicken is piled sky-high in the bucket in a tantalizing golden mound of fried poultry scrumptiousness. It’s a veritable Mount Everest of fried chicken. The poor dismembered chickens are practically spilling out of the thing in a vain attempt to reconstitute their anatomies and run clucking for their lives.

Stop and think about this for a second. If the chicken is piled so high that it is practically overflowing, how did they get the darn lid on the bucket back at the store? It’s a physical impossibility – they’re lying to us. They are deliberately depicting a false state of abundance to manipulate us into pulling the trigger on KFC the next time we’re driving around an unfamiliar neighborhood with our stomach growling like a grizzly bear in heat.

Another commercial that I love is for a certain electronic book reader, which shall remain nameless. Okay, okay, it’s the Kindle. It’s an upbeat montage of images portraying handsome and beautiful twenty-somethings cavorting at the beach, at the mall, in coffee-shops. Everyone has the device in hand, of course – but nobody is reading. They’re all running and laughing and hugging and dancing and kissing and rock-climbing and doing all those intoxicating activities that cavorting young people do while holding onto their digital devices.

But nobody is reading. Why?

To portray people enjoying a best-seller off an electronic book reader is to photograph them sitting in a chair, or on a couch, or on the toilet (the most likely location, actually) and staring silently into their hands with a blank, catatonic expression on their faces. That’s not very sexy. Nobody is going to want to purchase an electronic book reader if it’s going to make them look like a zombie. Where’s the thrill, the joy, the youthful abandon?

Well, if it ain’t there, we sure as heck better manufacture some.

So the next time you’re find yourself perched in front of the tube, watch those commercials with a more critical eye. See the ways we’re being manipulated. Pay attention to how men, particularly young husbands, are portrayed in commercials. More often than not they are utter doofuses and incompetent goofballs. Why do you think that is? Because women are the targeted demographic of most advertising. Why? Because wives do most of the shopping.

Sharpen your analytical skills in front of the TV and it might serve you well in your day-to-day, face-to-face, non-digital, non-virtual interactions with family , friends and co-workers. Become more discerning about the world you inhabit. Learn to separate truth from fantasy and fact from fiction.

And save a drumstick for me.