If you asked God for a man, then what does this man look like in his character? It was natural to ask this question. Let's find out.

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it". (Ephesians 5:25)

If so, God did not choose a Christian man to fulfill this role, but perhaps this implies joint responsibility. How can I love as Christ does? Just weeks in I dreamt that you would take me to church. I also took you to your college class. I understand this to mean that you may be here to enable me to be the man I was chosen to be: to love and support your dreams .

Humility (Philippians 2:3)

I have read that it is important to love myself first but to respect others more than myself. We often don't negatively judge the flaws of our beloved while not extending the same loving eyes to ourselves. So, it's easy enough to understand that we need to love ourselves and be happy with ourselves first. But what about respect and humility. It is not our job to dictate the lives of others. We can lend an ear and a voice, should advice be requested, but it is important to respect others enough to participate in life unmanipulated. Humility calls for selfless acts for others, i.e., not expecting something in return, save for the reward of service itself. A loving relationship thrives on unconditional acts of love and kindness between man and woman, but also towards family and friends.

Provide (Timothy 5:8)

To provide, one must work to structure the physical and emotional circumstances of the relationship so that a healthy balance may be achieved into the future. It is my job to be a financial provider but to also be there physically and emotionally. Any man can earn a paycheck, the man god sends you must also provide support in love, spiritual matters, family and friends, and dreams .

Understanding (1 Peter 3:7)

Effective communication is impossible without understanding. One must also use this principle to support you when you are low and praise you at your heights. It is not my job to live your life but to co-exist with you. To understand only implies making sense of who you are, what your goals and desires are and to actively listen when you speak. In difficult times, one will typically only desire to be heard and possibly a shoulder to rest upon.

Faithful (Mathew 5:28)

One aspect of faith was discussed earlier, but the other refers to monogamy. A man that is not faithful to his wife has chosen to not give all of his energy to her, but to divert energy elsewhere or to leave energy available to be taken by others. To be faithful means that I must actively give my energy to you and to anticipate and thwart temptations that may come. No person is perfect. However, a competent man knows to not put himself in compromising situations that may actively tempt him. Weaknesses in the relationship are often used as excuses for infidelity . A faithful man actively works with his partner to maintain the health of his relationship.

Honor and Companionship (Ephesians 5:25-33)

I see more than anything else romantic partners treating each other worse than they treat total strangers. It is often explained that we "have to" treat strangers or others we don't live with well. Your husband or wife "has to" be there, so we act polite to others and give drama and trauma to the one we claim to not be able to live without. I honor you by meeting your needs, physically and emotionally (1 Corinthians 7:2-5). Women have a lot of needs beyond sexual intimacy , and it requires companionship (teamwork) to fulfill them.

Emotionally Intelligent (Proverbs 15:18)

Every person has feelings. Emotions are impulses to act, signified by the Latin root of 'mot' which means motion. Any time a couple fights, we hear nothing but excuses for each person's behavior .

"I cheated because we don't have sex anymore."

"I yelled because you made me so mad."

"I ignored you because you've been ignoring me."

At the heart of any discord is one or both partners feeling victimized by their partner's action or, even, the lack of a desired action. When one feels victimized, the response from "the victim" is excused away or blamed on the other partner.

Yes, it can be easy to forgive and excuse ourselves or the behavior of others as described and exemplified, reasoning that we/they are still "good" or "mean well". That said, any person can be angered and have their subsequent behavior excused. This leads me to only conclude that, like fidelity, it is one's responsibility to be in control of their emotions and actions. It is my responsibility to be a loving man, not to be an angry excuse of a man.

Romantic (Song of Solomon 8:6)

Romance is a natural and healthy desire in any strong relationship. Of course, it can be derived from less desirable intentions, but appropriate romance is a thing of beauty and a natural concomitant in a healthy relationship.

"Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death , its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like a blazing fire, like a mighty flame."

Humble (Proverbs 16:18)

"Pride comes before destruction, and an arrogant spirit before a fall."

It is no secret as to why pride is a deadly sin. One may be too proud to love, too proud to admit error and ask forgiveness , and too proud to grow. A proud man does not accept influence necessarily, especially from his partner. A proud man is not emotionally intelligent, often giving emotional poison as a result. It is not strength at the source of pride but weakness guarded with the threat of violence should it be challenged. A humble man is never "there", always looking for ways to grow and accepting influence from his partner so that further growth is engendered. He does not see others lower than himself. Pride or arrogance implies needing others to view you in an elevated status, which implies that they are lesser than he.


This question wasn't to determine "who" I need to be for you but to, instead, make sense of who God would send. I understand that a godly woman may look for a man that honors these qualities, but only a woman that respects and loves herself as she does god will only stop looking once it has been found.

Let's Dance

Author's Bio: 

A humble guy in the Corrosion Industry seeking to answer some of life's questions.