The word ‘why’ is very important in motivating a person to make some decision. When one believes that the task given to him is worth considering, he/she is naturally inclined towards it. The goal, belief, purpose, benefit or cash whatever is in your mind to boost your energy towards a set task, is the most important thing. It is usually in your unconscious when you set your mind to take an action. There could be one or several motivating forces behind your actions; however, usually one factor is big enough to make a person willing to do something.
For the children ‘why’ is very important as well. They are never willing to do anything unless you tell them the reason for that. Suppose being a parent you want your child to work hard and stand first in his/her class. You apply different techniques to get that goal. You offer various reasons to work hard. Say you tell them to:
1 Work hard – as it will help you to become a successful man in future
2 Work hard- as it will help you to gain popularity among kids.
3 Work hard- as it will boost your scores in the class.
4 Work hard – as your parents would feel proud of you.
5 Work hard – as you will get a beautiful life after that.
6 Work hard – as you will be punished if you fail.
7 Work hard- it will make you smart and strong.
8 Work hard- if you want to achieve your goals in future.
9 Work hard- it is good for your mental health.
10 Work hard- as it was the wish of your grandparents.
11 Work hard- as I love to see you working hard.
Consider all of these goals wisely and think about them. Do you feel motivated if you are said like that? Rarely, we get involved by these motivational catching statements. What about children- they don’t pay attention at all!
Now change your strategy and divide the time into the units. For the kids, consider the age of the child being a big factor in making them motivated towards doing something. If your child is 5-year-old and he/she is interested in playing with toys for most of the time; then consider this information as the best motivating force. For example:
1 Work hard for one more hour – as I have a secret surprise for you .
2 Work hard for the next two hours- as there is something of your choice waiting for you.
3 Work hard for half an hour please- as we are going to play together after that.
4 Work hard for one more hour please- then you will get a reward sticker for today.
5 Work hard for the whole day - as in the end of the day, you will be surprised by some sweets (of your choice).
6 Work hard for two hours only- then you can watch your favorite movie/video.
Basically, there could be anything from your kid’s favorite world of choices to offer to motivate them. They will get motivated and willingly perform the hard work each day. After passing a few months or weeks, they will no longer be interested in the old motives; rather would need a new list of motives to make them energetic again. And the cycle of motivation will continue until they would understand the meaning of working hard in the real sense. And as each child is unique and capable of doing a lot with the great power of motivation , enthusiasm and creative abilities; one should seek for various incentives for each child to work in the unconscious according to her age group and as per her own need at that particular time frame.
Mona Aeysha, PhD, is an Educational and Developmental Psychologist, have been working as a Teacher, Counselor and Researcher in several institutes of China, Pakistan and Cambodia. Her major areas of interest are: self –esteem, self-concept, conceptual psychology, belief psychology, self psychology, preferential psychology, cultural psychology and women psychology.
You are always welcome to contact her via email if you have any query in this regard.Thanks