Even though perfection is an illusion, it doesn’t mean that this is something that everyone realises. As a result of this, it can be normal for someone to do everything they can in order to be perfect.
On one hand, this could be something that has an impact on every area of their life, and on the other hand, it could be something that has an impact on a few areas. But regardless of how one’s life is affected by this need, it is undoubtedly going to cause them to experience a lot of pressure.
When one is in a position where they feel the need to be perfect, they could find that they are rarely, if ever, relaxed. They could always be doing something, and if they were to relax, it might not be long until they experience anxiety .
Through experiencing anxiety , they could soon feel compelled do to something, and this can be because of what they believe would happen if other people were to find out that they weren’t perfect. Therefore, the fear of being seen as imperfect can be the fear that drives their behaviour.
If they were able to relax, it could be something that only takes place when they go away. Having said that, this might not be the case, and this can be due to the fact that their behaviour ends up being more or less the same.
As to what one does when they are away can depend on how the need to be perfect affects their life. For instance, if one was in a position where they had the need to be perfect in their career, they could end up being on a device for most of their holiday.
In the past, one would have had to leave their business behind if they went away, but in today’s world, it can be possible for them to run their business from anywhere in the world. Thus, one could find that even when they are supposed to be taking it easy, they are still unable to let go.
However, even if one didn’t have this kind of career, they could find that even though their body is on holiday their mind is somewhere else. Their mind could end up creating all kinds of scenarios that cause them to suffer, and they might be looking forward to going home.
What this shows is that their whole life is being consumed by their career, and while this may mean that they overlook other areas of their life, this might not be the case. There could be a number of other areas in their life where they also do everything they can to present a certain image.
For example, one may also spend a lot of time on their appearance and they might have the need to have the perfect relationship. And in the eyes of others, one could be seen as someone who leads the perfect life.
It is then not going to be uncommon for them to come across people who look up to them. There is also the chance that they are surrounded by people who come across in the same way.
Yet this is not to say that they will talk to each other about what is taking place, as their need to maintain a certain appearance could stop them from opening up about how they feel. If they were to talk about the fact that they feel the need to be perfect, they may believe that it would cause the other person to reject them.
However, if one only feels the need to be perfect in one area of their life, it could come down to how they look. One is then not going to be overly concerned with their career or their relationships.
This is not to say that they won’t try to create the impression that every area of their life is perfect. What it comes down to is that they are likely to spend more time on creating a life that looks perfect than they are on creating a life that is fulfilling.
A New Option
And in today’s world, it could be said that it is easier than ever before for one to create the impression that their life is perfect. The only thing one needs is a device and to have a social media account.
But although one will still need to maintain their appearance and to behave in a certain way; it won’t be the only way for them to create an impression. No matter where they are or what they are doing, they can define how other people will see perceive them.
The primary way that one will make others believe that their life is prefect will be through the kinds of pictures they share. Not only can they edit pictures to change how they look; they can also share pictures that don’t reflect reality.
For example, one could be in a situation that is not very fulfilling, and instead of sharing pictures that reflect how they feel, they can share pictures where they look extremely happy. Along with this, they could also share images that have nothing to do with what their life is actually like.
Through presenting themselves in this way, there is a strong chance that they will end up receiving plenty of ‘likes’ and comments from their ‘friends’. However, if their friends were to meet them in person and to ask them about their life, they might soon realise that the life one presents online has very little to do with the life they lead offline.
If one was to take a step back and to reflect on what they have been doing, they may realise that their behaviour is being driven by their need to receive approval from others. At a deeper level, they may find that they don’t feel good enough.
Also, when one is focused on pleasing other people, they are going to overlook what they could be doing to please themselves. One approach would be for them to develop self acceptance, and through doing this, they will be less concerned with what other people think.
This will also enable them to create a life that is fulfilling as opposed to creating a life that looks perfect. The assistance of a therapist and/or a support group may be needed here.
Prolific writer, author and coach, Oliver JR Cooper hails from the United Kingdom. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation; love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over nine hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behavior, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. Current projects include "A Dialogue With The Heart" and "Communication Made Easy."
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