Running on Empty

The personal development industry has grown in the last number of years. More and more people are starting to understand the importance of “growing yourself in order to grow your world”.

Many aspects of personal development work are designed around WHAT you want in life. You’re encouraged to set goals, create vision boards; keep a cheque for $1 million dollars in your wallet and so forth.
Is Personal development work being translated into being successful? And does success always involve money?

Or is success whatever you want it to be? Could it be called wellbeing? Being well?A constant state of wellbeing involves you being solidly in touch with who you are (the good, the bad and the ugly) PLUS what you want (now and for the future)

Many years ago I had a friend whose mother was permanently stressed and suffered from chronic ulcers. She spent her days playing cards, meeting friends, painting, grocery shopping and organising the family meals.
I remember wondering how stress had become a status symbol and since when it had become important to be considered “stressed”.

You may experience this yourself in your world – how many conversations do you currently listen to about busyness and/or stress? And don’t the conversations sometimes feel like one-upmanship?

But very often the perpetual busyness is created to cover up an empty feeling. The creation of things to keep you busy is what causes the stress.
You then think you’re unhappy because you’re stressed, not because you’re feeling “empty” and have some unfulfilled needs.There’s a better perception around admitting to stress than being “empty”.
So it’s easier to keep “doing” all the time, creating more stress. And then ironically blame the stress on being busy.

In my coaching sessions I often draw pictures (stick figures) with three layers around each one. The inner (often frightened) child, the actual you and the protective bubble in which humans spend most of their time operating.
If you’re feeling empty, you may often find yourself trying to fill up the space around you (outside the bubble which is your world) – instead of the space inside you.
Wholeness comes from within. This includes putting both “good” and “bad” bits together. (and even the ugly!)

The more you stop pretending, stop denying and repressing the inner frightened being - the fuller your heart will feel and the healthier you body will become.

You may have repeatedly heard the saying that if you don’t give to yourself – you
won’t have anything left to give to others?But what does this actually mean?
What is the ANYTHING that you give anyway?

It’s feelings.
If you don’t know compassion; how can you give it?
If you don’t know sadness; how can you give compassion?

By filling up your feeling bucket, you can start letting them leak out.

The opposite of feeling empty is full, or in Completely Human language, whole.
This means putting the pieces of YOU into those empty spaces. This includes all seemingly opposite feelings of happiness , sadness, anger, love, bitterness and compassion. They’re all a part of you – and any given day may show you aspects of all of them.

This may feel like you’re on a rollercoaster – but it merely means you’re real. You’re in touch and engaging how you feel – yes – you ARE allowed to.

So…allowing yourself to embrace everything that you are…If you had a choice - Would you rather be whole or good?

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