My Family Doesn't Like My Husband: My Family Hates My Husband

It's frustrating when your extended family has any negative effect on your marriage. After all, your relationship really is about two people - and only two - you and your husband. This relationship should not involve anyone else. That's the ideal anyway. But this ideal doesn't always happen. The people who love you more than anything often feel like they have a vested interest in your level of marital happiness . So sometimes, they step in and give you their opinions.

Someone might say: "honestly, when my husband and I were dating, I thought my family liked him. And I thought his parents liked me. Everyone seemed to encourage our relationship. My husband is a good man. And I like to think that I am also a good person who has become a good wife. But admittedly, over the last couple of years, we have hit some rough patches in our marriage. We lived apart for a while. And even though we have mostly reconciled, we are still struggling. And now our parents and family members have turned against us because they think that we are not good for one another. Honestly, I didn't try to hide how miserable I was without my husband and how much this whole process was hurting me. So my family blames him for hurting me. And, his family believes that he only went back to me because I manipulated him to get him back. They seem to believe that I am holding him back in some way or that he stays with me out of obligation. Both of our families are rude to our spouses when we are together. Last night, his mom called and invited him on a family vacation - all expenses paid - but she made it clear that I was not invited. Her excuse was that they could only afford to pay for him, but I don't think that's it. I think it's that they want to isolate him from me. When we were separated, my mother-in-law was constantly trying to fix my husband up with women she liked. Her hope was that he would click with one of them and divorce me. When I told my mom about the trip, her response was: 'awesome. Let him go on the trip. Let's hope he never comes back.' This is frustrating and painful to my husband and I. Because we both know that our marriage is fragile enough right now. We both know that we are struggling. And then our families come in and they add additional problems. I feel like they are determined to ruin our marriage . And they just might succeed."

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This is a challenging situation. But they won't succeed unless you let them. Don't let them. It might be tempting to write your family off or to figure that if they don't support your marriage , then there is no room for them in your life. But I would suggest not going there right away. This might actually create more stress and deep down resentment, which could also stress your marriage even more later.

Creating A United Front With Boundaries: I think that the better approach is for each of you to discuss this quite firmly with your families and then to create a united front after that. The families are likely meddling and interfering because they can sense that your marriage is still vulnerable. So, they think that they actually have a chance to get what they want. That's why I'd caution you against sharing every fight or set back with them. If they think that your marriage is recovering and is going to last, then they won't be as motivated to insert themselves into your marriage because doing so would be a waste of time.

In terms of addressing this with your families , I'd suggest something like: "mom, I know that the comments that you make are done out of love. I know that this is because of your concern for me. But I can't have you bashing my spouse or not supporting my marriage. And if you can't keep from telling my your opinions, then we'll have to take the topic of my marriage out of our conversations. We'll just have to talk about something else. I value my relationship with you, but I don't want our relationship to include my marriage. I'm committed to my marriage and you are not going to change that. And when you try, it just damages our relationship and it means that I won't have your support, which I need. I am asking you to use the love you feel for me as fuel to support me rather than to try to tear my marriage down. Will you do that?"

Now, you will probably have to remind your family of this conversation when they revert back to their old ways. But stand your ground. And after both families see that they are just wasting their time and that their meddling actually unites you instead of tears you down (when you keep showing them a united front,) they will get tired of playing games. They will see that it's not an effective strategy. And they will hopefully realize that it's better for everyone if they embrace your marriage rather than trying to sabotage it.

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Do you feel that your marriage is on the rocks? Do you feel that you have marriage problems and solutions are so unclear? Do you wish to make your love life work again? Getting hitched would be one of the most wonderful things that a couple could wish for. It is actually the reason why men want to marry their girl. They want to spend the rest of their lives with the person they love. They want to grow old with them. However, not everyone could say that it is a happily ever after. All couples do experience marital problems. It is up to the couples if they wish to stay with one another or get a divorce . Given the choice, you should choose to stay.

Problem No. 1: It is boring.

The problem with most couples is that when they get married, they get comfortable and feel that they don't need to make any effort. They no longer go out on dates. They don't surprise their girls anymore. As for the girls, they no longer put on their makeup. They don't dress up nicely for their man. The guys don't need to pursue the girl anymore because they have already won their heart. Well, that notion is entirely wrong.

Solution No.1: Do not set foot in the comfort zone.

You need to spice things up. When you feel that everything is stagnant, both of you should try something new. Do something spontaneous. Do not just be like any other couples who enjoy staying at home and watch TV. Don't become domesticated. You should try to come up with ways on how to make each other fall in love deeper and deeper with one another.

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Problem No.2: There's the constant argument.

You may have noticed that you are spending more time with him arguing rather than cuddling with him. Every night, you get caught up in a dispute. You could not seem to get along with one another. There's always something that would tick both of you off. You bicker at one another and one walks out of the argument. You even let the day end without any reconciliation.

Solution No.2: Learn to communicate well.

In communication, it isn't enough that one should talk. Remember, you also have to listen. God has given you ears as well so you can learn how to listen to your partner every time he talks. You should not only hear but listen. Let your heart listen to what he needs to say. Make it a habit to let him talk first and don't interrupt him. That is how a good communication should work.

In a marriage, it isn't always a bed of roses and you have to remember that. Not everything is all about the happy moments. The reason why both of you are bonded by matrimony because both of you believe that you can withstand anything together. Not all relationships are perfect. That doesn't mean you don't need to make your relationship excellent.

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Have you been having marital issues lately? Do you feel that you are not doing enough to help save your marriage? Are you in need of marital advice to help you cope up with a lot of marriage issues and help save your marriage?

Marriages are not free from issues. No matter how smooth a marriage life is there will always be issues and trials that will test the union whether the couples like it or not. Since problems are a part of every relationship, one of the many things that couples can do is heed the marital advice of people who have enough knowledge and experience when it comes to marriages and relationships. The following are some of the effective and proven advices on marriage and relationships that can greatly benefit a couple.

Advice #1: Learn to Listen: One effective marital advice for couples is to learn how to listen. Marriage is a give and take relationship. You can say what you want to say to your partner but you should also know how to listen to what he wants to say. Both of you can benefit from each other's opinion. You can ask for your partner's advice and he can ask for yours as well. Being able to listen to each other can help save a marriage.

Advice #2: Never Leave Any Misunderstandings Unresolved: Misunderstandings can lead to bigger and major issues if not resolved right away. You and your partner can argue about a lot of things but you have to make sure that there are no misunderstandings left unresolved. One good marital advice is you can always agree to disagree without resorting to anything more than the exchange of opinions and points of view. If you feel that the argument is not helping anymore then it's now time to stop and patch up any misunderstanding caused by the exchange of words.

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Advice #3: Learn to Say Sorry and To Forgive: If your partner's words had hurt you during an argument because you provoked his anger, then the best marital advice for this is to learn how to say sorry and to forgive. It is better to admit your own mistakes and ask for forgiveness rather than watch the marriage collapse just because you are too stubborn to admit that you did something wrong.

Advice #4: Argue in Private: There is no need to embarrass your partner by arguing in public. Do not argue in front of the kids as well if you have children. Do it inside your room or some place where nobody can hear you about the things and issues you are arguing about. Arguing in public and in front of the kids mean that you have no respect for each other and you don't care at all if you hurt your children's feelings or not. Always remember this marital advice because this can greatly help.

Advice #5: Never Use Physical Force: Hitting your partner is an abuse and a sign of being a coward. Argue with your partner all you want but never use physical force just to help you get your point across. As a marital advice, never use physical force because it can only lead to something even more serious.

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

Are you familiar with marriage retreats? Do you consider these retreats effective for a marriage to last longer? Are you willing to try these retreats should there be a need for it?

For a marriage to last long, the couples should be able to recognize the problems that can affect the marriage and the solutions that can be used to deal with these problems. Oftentimes, a marriage will encounter problems that are hard to deal with however this is not reason enough to just quit and give up. If you feel that you will not be able to solve the issue, you can always seek help from professionals who have enough knowledge and experience dealing with the issue. Other couples however choose to go together for a retreat as a way of dealing with it. Marriage retreats may not be that familiar to a lot of couples but there are already a lot of married people who choose to go on marriage retreats to deal with whatever marriage problems they are having. These retreats can provide benefits to the couples and these can include the following:

Benefit #1: Solving Inner Conflicts: Attending marriage retreats can help the couples deal with their inner conflicts affecting the relationship. Once these inner conflicts are resolved, the couples will then be able to deal with bigger issues concerning their union. Conflicts in a relationship, no matter how small, can become serious and damaging if not addressed right away. With a retreat, the inner conflict issue in a marriage will be dealt with appropriately early on.

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Benefit #2: Enhance Closeness: Have you been distant to each other for the past few months? Then attending marriage retreats can help you enhance your closeness to each other. The retreat will help you understand the need for closeness in order to let your partner feel how much you love him. There are a lot of reasons why couples suddenly become distant to each other without actually knowing that they are already slipping away from each other's arms. With this type of retreat, the closeness that you once had will be enhanced.

Benefit #3: Settle Relationship Crisis: If you have been having relationship crisis, then attending marriage retreats can greatly help. In the retreat, the couples will be provided a much better understanding on how they can settle relationship crisis and finally learn how to deal with every issue that comes their way. Some of the crisis that couples will be able to deal with can include affairs, financial problems, and career issues to name a few.

Benefit #4: End the Use of Physical Force: Is your partner quick to use physical force whenever you argue about things? Marriage retreats can help deal with this type of problem. The use of physical force can ruin not only the relationship but also the couples involved. It is better to attend marriage retreats or seek help from marriage counselors to end the use of any physical force because this might lead to physical abuse .

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you , all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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