One of the reasons why people have dogs is because they are loyal companions. And while this is one of their strengths, it can also cause them to be taken advantage of.
Yet, even though this can set them up to be treated badly, it doesn’t mean they will simply run away. Instead, a dog is likely to stay with their owner and to continue to put up with what is happening to them.
A Different Experience
If one was to look at how dogs experience life, they could say that human beings are different. This can be due to the fact that a human being usually has more options than a dog.
Based on these options, if they are being treated badly, they can leave another person. They can be loyal if the other person deserves their loyally and they can walk away if they don’t.
The Same Position
However, just because a human being can walk away from someone who doesn’t deserve their loyalty, it doesn’t mean they will. There is then what they need to do to look after themselves and there is what they are doing.
Looking after themselves is in their best interests and when they ignore their own needs and just go with the flow, so to speak, they are going to suffer in one way or another. In their mind, they might believe they are doing the right thing and that being loyal is the most important thing.
Being loyal is then going to be seen as a good thing and being disloyal is going to be seen as a bad thing. One could see themselves as someone who is loyal and this is then a big part of who they are.
And as one sees themselves in this way, they could turn a blind eye to the people and the situations in their life that don’t deserve their loyalty. Their primary focus is going to be on being loyal and not on whether this is the right thing for them to do.
There are going to be times when it will be important for one to be loyal and there will be times when it won’t be. If one has a friend who is not only happy to receive, but is also happy to give, then this can be a sign that they deserve their loyalty.
Just as if one is being loyal without comprising themselves, then this could be the right approach to take. It will be important for them to look at how they feel through being loyal and how the other person is responding.
Taken For a Ride
Being loyal, without taking into account how one feels and how the other person is responding, is only going to cause problems. When this happens, there is going to be conflict between what is taking place in their mind and what is happening in their body.
Their mind can cause them to ignore what is taking place in their body and to overlook what is happening externally. One is then out of touch with reality and is only seeing what they want to see.
What this can show is that one has been conditioned to be loyal and this conditioning is then stopping them from being able to listen to themselves. Ideally, one will be able to decide whether they should be loyal or not; as opposed to always being loyal.
Just because one was loyal at one point in time, it doesn’t mean they should be at another point in time. This could be because one has changed and it could also be due to the fact that the other person has changed.
While one can enjoy wearing a certain pair of shoes, there is going to come a time when they can no longer wear them. This is because shoes have a lifespan and don’t last forever.
Now, when one’s feet start to ache or when the shoes are not longer wearable, one will know it is time to get rid of them. And although they might feel emotionally attached to them, it doesn’t mean they will still wear them.
Letting them go would be the right thing for them to do and it wouldn’t mean they were being disloyal. But when it comes to people they have been loyal to, they can feel the need to hold on.
In this case, one’s outlook is being defined by what happened in the past and not what is happening today. And if they are loyal because they have been conditioned to be, it will be important for them to question their conditioning and to decide for if this is the right approach to have.
Being loyal could be a way for one to please others and while this allows them to be accepted, it also means they are ignoring their own needs. This can then mean that one ends up abandoning themselves as way to avoid being abandoned by others.
But if one abandons themselves in order to be accepted by others, it could be a sign that they were neglected during their childhood. This would have stopped one from being able to develop a strong sense of self. To lose another person’s approval can then cause them to feel as they did during their early years.
To be left at this age would have felt like death and if one still carry’s this pain within them, it is going to be normal for them do to everything they can to please others. Being loyal is then a way for one to stop the emotional pain of being abandoned from coming to the surface once more.
If one can relate to this, it will be important for them to work with a therapist or healer. Here, they will be able to grieve their unmet childhood needs and this will enable them to let of the emotional pain that is within them.
Prolific writer, thought leader and coach, Oliver JR Cooper hails from the United Kingdom. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation; love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With several hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behavior, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. Current projects include "A Dialogue With The Heart" and "Communication Made Easy."
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