Living With A Serial Killer

If a convicted serial killer moved in next door – would you choose to invite them round every day, feed them, ask them to stay over or even move in? Of course not! But many of us, every single day, live with the biggest serial killer the modern world has known – STRESS. We have invited it in and given it a home, and it will kill us if we let it.

From anxiety , depression , IBS, stomach ulcers, strokes, heart attacks, to cancers – stress is often lurking about. Doctors estimate that as many as 80% of patients have psychosomatic symptoms. This means that 8 out of ten people attending the doctors have a problem that is more psychological not medical

Take IBS for example. The official meaning is Irritable Bowel Syndrome, although I prefer to call it ‘Internal Ball of Stress’. IBS is the label doctors give to anything to do with your stomach, or gut, when they haven’t a baldy notion what to do. And why would they? GP’s are experts in medicine, they are physicians not magicians. They naturally tend towards medical solutions. If your problem is mostly in your head – that is where you need to understand it and to sort it out. Drugs may well help with the symptoms of stress. To make a real change you need to take responsibility for and ownership of your stress.

Fight or Flight…Most people are aware of the concept of ‘fight or flight’. This is when the brain dumps a load of chemicals (chiefly adrenaline) into the bloodstream in a situation where immediate action, strength and speed are required to save us from a perceived danger. This adrenal rush can either give you superhuman powers or simply paralyse you, depending on how you handle it.

The stress response is one step down from ‘fight or flight’. The same caustic cocktail of chemicals is released, but in a smaller dose. This is done to alert you to a threat, and to protect you, and your body, from harm. It is perfectly natural. The problems arise because modern lifestyles give us lots of stressful situations, but very few releases. So your blood and your gut are full of this caustic cocktail and it gnaws away at your insides. Without release it will make you contrary. It will make you ill. Eventually, it will make you dead.

Two things are certain. One, you will have stress in your life, and in your self. Two, this stress has to find an outlet – or it will seriously damage you. Your mind and your body knows this. When the pressure builds your mind seeks release wherever it sees an opportunity. If you try to suppress it, the pressure just builds and builds til the gasket blows. Often this leads to us ‘losing the head’ over seemingly minor things like someone taking our parking space; the child spilling juice; someone jumping the queue etc.

Many people suffering badly will often be of the opinion that ‘It’s not me, it’s the rest of the world’. This form of delusion can be dangerous. But stress is a sneaky, insidious and cunning foe. It clouds your judgment, tricks you, fools you, blinds you. Often, it’s only when you look back, that we can grasp how stressed we must have been to act in a particular way.

But let’s be clear. While some of us may delight in looking down our noses at people who lose the rag over small stuff, at least they have some form of release. Stress is especially dangerous to those who internalize it – who have no release. Remember, it’s better to blow a fuse than burn out altogether.

Safety Valves
It is absolutely vital that we all find a way to relieve this pressure. Some do it energetically through sport, whether playing or watching; others gently, by walking , reading or fishing; some people meditate, some pray; It doesn’t matter which you choose… but take action… today!

Some people can only get relief through drink, or drugs (whether prescription and recreational). An occasional blowout can do us the world of good. But this can also be a dangerous route, and can easily lead to dependency… so mind yourself.

I see people suffering because of stress all the time. Often, all they need is a release (so they can start again with a level playing field); an understanding of how it works; and some strategies to stop it building up again. None of it is rocket science – but stress is definitely rocket fuel!

So… do you live with a serial killer? And if you do… what are you gonna do about it?