Around this time of year there are all kinds of catchy phrases. Jesus is the “reason for the season” is the one that immediately pops into my mind. Another one from the past is “What Would Jesus Do?”. I feel like this trivializes Jesus and is either seasonal or just trendy. Jesus should be what we are all about, every day of the year. Jesus is the spiritual basis for family regulatory therapy, a body/mind model of therapy that I use in my practice.
Throughout Scripture, God is consistently telling us that He is seeking relationship with us. Jesus came to Earth to teach us about relationship. It has taken medical science years to catch up with what God laid down thousands of years ago. Bruce Perry tells us that we are biologically designed at a cellular level to be in relationship. And that without relationship, we are physiologically at risk.
Compare that to a simple step of faith of accepting Jesus into our lives. We just need to believe. If medical science can help get a person there, I’m all for that. I’m convinced that God is OK with whatever it takes to bring a person to Jesus. Sometimes we need some “scientific evidence” to help us take a step of faith . Hebrews11:1 says: “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”
Jesus is the gift of relationship. We are connected to Him in relationship. Relationship is the key to our own regulation, meaning that we can successfully navigate emotional states such as anger, sadness, fear, or hurt, and furthermore, our ability to establish and maintain relationships. Without regulation we cannot be in a loving relationship with our children or anyone else.
Spiritually, we are born again when we come into relationship with Jesus. We are then regulated by the Holy Spirit. What does born again mean? Simply put, born again means that our past is put behind us. We are forgiven. We walk with the freedom that forgiveness affords us. Forgiveness frees us to be in loving relationships with others. Forgiveness allows us to escape the reality of shame. Shame is debilitating. Shame tells us that we are worthless. Shame is the tool of the devil that debilitates, steals and destroys our lives. Shame overwhelms us with a sense of failure, with a sense of embarrassment. It steals from us this day. Forgiveness liberates us from this bondage. As Jesus hung on the cross he said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."(Luke 23:34).
Jesus gives us an abundant life. What is abundant life? Our abundance in life comes from the love we receive from Jesus. Jesus was and is always in a state of love. Jesus was and is the perfect example of putting love into action. The Bible tells us that (Corinthians 13:8) “Love never fails.”
Why is love so hard? Love is scary. Rather than allowing love to exist, we try to hang on to it. We try to hang on to it because we’re afraid. We’re afraid of losing it. The fear then separates us from love. Sometime we’re afraid of love because we don’t want to get hurt. Again fear steps in and separates us from love. Max Lucado says, “Fear creates a form of spiritual amnesia. It dulls our miracle memory. It makes us forget what Jesus has done and how good God is. We become abandoned barns, rickety and tilting from the winds, a place where humanity used to eat, thrive, and find warmth. When fear shapes our lives, safety becomes our god. The fear-filled cannot love deeply. Love is risky.” (From Imagine Your Life Without Fear) When we stay connected to Jesus, he drives out our fears. Jesus replaces our anxiety and worry with perfect love and peace . “There is no fear in love, But perfect love drives out fear, . .” (1 John 4:18).
The amazing thing is that love is always available. All we need to do is realize that. We can then step into and be in a state of love. It is free for the asking. John 3:16 - "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” Need relationship? Seek Jesus. Ask and you will receive this wonderful gift.
Have courage and rest in the comfort of Jesus.
In Christ,Ken Thom
Ken Thom, MS, LPC,* specializes in assisting individuals, families, and children in trauma or distress. A nationally recognized Christian counselor and published author, Ken uses Scripture and Biblical truths along with the Post Institute Stress Model to put love into action to heal relationships.
Ken has over 25 years of experience working with people with alcohol and drug addiction; sexual, physical, and emotional abuse; mood disorders; ADHD and other behavioral disorders; and relationship and marital problems.
A parent and grandparent, in his free time, Ken supports faith-based community efforts, youth and men's ministries at his church, and serves on the Board of Directors for the Academy for Christian Education.
As a recovering alcoholic and drug addict himself, Ken's personal experience allows him to better assist his clients in "Healing Relationships through Love in Action."
*Master of Science, Licensed Professional Counselor