It is often said that the opposite of love is hate and, therefore, if one doesn’t love someone, they are going to hate them. This is then going to be something that is black and white, and that will be the end of it.
A Closer Look
However, if one was to take the time to think about how they have been when they no longer love someone, they may find that there is more to it. Or, they could think about what has taken place when someone has no longer loved them.
This could be a time when one will see that this wasn’t a time when they experienced hate and/or they may see that this wasn’t the case for the other person. Instead, they may find that they had lost interest in the other person and/or the other person responded in this way.
More to It
What this then shows is that the opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference. If one experiences hate instead of love, it is going to show that they are still invested in the other person.
The emotional experience that they have when they are with them or away from them might be different, but there is still an attachment. And this will also apply to someone who has hated them in the past.
As Time Passed
After a while, one may have settled down and this hate may have gradually disappeared, or they may have gone to the next stage. One might then have been obsessed with the other person and this would have changed.
As if they were no longer emotionally caught up in the other person, there would be no reason for them to think about them all the time. This would then have allowed them to focus on other things and to carry on with the rest of their life.
During the time when one experienced hate, it wouldn’t have had a positive effect on their wellbeing. The energy that they used to feel this way could have been used more productively.
So once they got to the point where they no longer cared about what the other person was or wasn’t doing; they may have found that a weight had been lifted from their shoulders. Not caring about the other person was then not something negative; it was something that had a positive effect.
If one was brought up by a parent who was abusive, it can mean that they have experienced a lot of hate towards them. But if this is not the case, it could show that they have disconnected from how they feel and idealised them instead.
Yet if they have been able to get to the point where what happened in the past no longer has the same effect, their life is likely to be extremely different. What their caregiver did or what they continue to do is then not going to pull them in.
One can then go from feeling as though they have no control over how they feel and how they live their life, to feeling as though they are in the driver’s seat. They are no longer an extension of their caregiver; they are a separate individual.
However, if they were caught up with their caregiver’s life, this would be nothing more than a dream. Their wellbeing would be defined by what their caregiver does or doesn’t do; and this would mean that they are nothing more than a slave.
There could have been a time where one had the need to change the world, and this would probably have caused them to experience a lot of stress. Perhaps this related to something that was far too big for them to alter.
One may have taken the time to look into why they wanted to change the world, and this could have been a time when they saw that they were trying to avoid something in their own life or their own feelings. Now, this is not to say that they gave up; what it can come down to is that they now have a different approach.
A New Outlook
They are then either caught up in what is taking place or indifferent to it; they are simply in touch with what they can do and what they can’t. Ultimately, one can only play their part, and if they were to have the need for a certain outcome to arise, it will only set them up to suffer unnecessarily.
The main thing is that they are playing their part and not whether they are able to achieve their desired outcome. When it comes to their desired outcome, it could be more or less out of their control.
Yet, if one is in a position where they don’t care about anything, it could be said that they won’t be playing their part on this earth. They have the ability to make a difference, but they won’t have the desire to do so.
Alternatively, one could act this way when it comes to their friends and/or family , for instance. This could then mean that they won’t have any close friends, or that they don’t repay their family for what they do for them.
It could also be a challenge for them to make progress in their career, as they won’t care about it enough to show the right commitment. Their life is then not going to be very fulfilling and if they don’t put much effort into their relationships, they are not going to have many people around them.
What this then shows is that there is a time and a place to be indifferent, and that it will be up to one to decide when this is. And just because it is right for them to be this way in one moment, it doesn’t mean that this will be the case in the next.
Prolific writer, author, and coach, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over one thousand in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. His current projects include 'A Dialogue With The Heart' and 'Communication Made Easy'.
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