Conflicts can appear anywhere. Whether you are in a coffee shop and someone got past the line or you are work and you have some misunderstandings with your colleagues, they are part of our day-to-day life.
There are some things you can’t predict and prevent. You can’t foresee you will have a rough day or the fact that one or two colleagues might not respect their deadlines, or the quality of their work might be horrible. Here, a quote by Maya Angelou, American poet, and human rights activist comes in handy “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.”
Instead of trying to foresee all the conflicts that might appear along the way, you should try to develop a plant that will help you get over them. You can’t prevent rain but, you can be prepared for it and wear a raincoat.
Here are a few steps you should take into consideration when conflicts appear in your life, especially work-related disagreements.
Avoid or Face It Head On?
The first thing you need to figure out is whether or not the cause of the conflict is worth taking into consideration. Is it something that is worth wasting precious time and energy for? Or is a small thing you can get over?
For example, arguing with your colleagues over using the printer excessively is a conflict you can avoid and get over. Nonetheless, having lazy coworkers, who don’t respect the deadline of their tasks is an issue you should face head-on.
By issue we don’t mean conflict, we mean solving the problem in a peaceful manner. Problems are not always solved using conflicts, they can be solved in a peaceful and constructive manner.
The Sooner the Better
It is of utmost importance to deal with the conflict as soon as possible. In the early stages of the conflict, both parties’ positions are not so firm, the relationship is not as cold. As time passes, the communication will deteriorate and the distance between you and your colleagues will increase.
Jack Simmons, an HR manager at Bestdissertation , explains:”Once you identify a possible cause of your conflict, you should find a method to solve it. The best way to do that is to communicate with your colleagues. If the conflict is already in full swing, you should get over your ego and initiate a communication channel.”
Once you’ve established some communication channels, you’ve set up a meeting or you decided to have an informal chat with your colleagues. Now, it’s up to you to identify and talk about the main causes of your conflict. Each party should have its own opinion on the conflict’s sources. The parties have expressed their opinions, now you can find the differences between these opinions.
Each party should express these conclusions in a very clear and firm manner, but without being offensive. Here’s what you should do during this stage of the process.
• Describe the entire situation from your point of view
• Express your belief regarding the situation
• Highlight the steps that, from your point of view, should be taken for the problem to be solved
During the last step, you should express your own opinion on the best method of solving the conflict. Your coworkers are not respecting their deadlines. This means that you should highlight the fact that they need to focus more and should improve their time management skills.
This collaboration skills can be improved by constantly working in teams. You learn to adapt, to listen to what others have to say. Also, you are always open to suggestions and your decisions are transparent.
Keep Your Feelings at Bay
There’s no such thing as a good or bad feeling. There are only appropriate or inappropriate feelings. For you to solve a conflict you need to see the difference between these two types of feelings. You should know that empathy is very useful when having a conflict with your colleagues.
Also, even though sometimes feelings might take over, you should be able to control them. Your anger shouldn’t interfere with your conflict resolution process.
For a better management of your emotions you should follow the next steps:
• Detach Yourself From the Situation- Go out, have a 5-minute break. A wise decision needs a cool head.
• Think About Something That Makes You Happy- During this break, you should think about something that makes you happy and relaxes you. For example, when I’m angry or upset, I always think about my next holiday and I plan it.
• Focus on Solving the Problem- The best way to keep your feelings at bay is to keep your mind busy. Instead of being angry about the conflict, focus on finding a resolution for it.

Negotiate and Make Concessions
Right, you’ve managed to set up the meeting that, you hope, will solve the conflict that appeared between you and your colleagues. You’ve managed to keep your cool, went out for a few minutes, detached yourself.
During the meeting, both parties expressed their opinions regarding the conflict. You’ve identified discrepancies between your opinions, now it’s time to negotiate. During a negotiation process, it’s important to know that you will have to make concessions.
You bump into negotiation scenarios all day long, without even realizing. Here’s how you can improve the results of your negotiations:
• Identify other party’s requests
• Focus on the issue. Don’t deviate from the subject
• Use the time to your advantage. Know other party’s timetable
• The other party shouldn’t know your constraints
• Any concession you make should have a backlash, a benefit
Conflicts appear in our personal life and professional life, as well. In your professional life, for your projects to respect the deadlines of their deliverables, you should settle conflicts right from the start. Disagreements drastically reduce your team’s performances and lead to setbacks.
A good project manager knows how to improve his team’s performance. For you to solve the conflicts quickly you should follow these steps.

Author's Bio: 

Justin is a teacher from Leicester, UK. When not teaching his little students and rooting for Leicester FC, he loves to share his thoughts and opinions about education and self-improvement with other people on different blogs and forums.