When one knows someone, it can be easier for them to talk to them, and this could be because they know how the other person will respond to them. As a result of this, they are less likely to think about what they are going to say.
It is then going to be possible for them to have a conversation, and there will be need for them to be caught up in their mind. They can be present and allow the interaction to flow.
However, when it comes to starting a conversation with a ‘stranger’, it is not always as easy. For one thing, one doesn’t know how the other person will respond to them, and this can make it harder.
In fact, this could be something that stops one from reaching out to someone else, and while this can make them feel better in the short-term, the same can’t always be said in the long-term. As time passes, they may wonder why they didn’t just ‘go for it’.
When this happens, they can end up feeling even worse, and this can then cause one to punish themselves. There is also the chance that they will be able to put it to one side and to look towards the next opportunity.
Once the next chance appears, they might end up going for it, and this could then allow them to forget about what happened. Having said that, this might not happen, and it is then going to be another opportunity that has passed them by.
Also, when one starts a conversation with someone they know, they might be interested in how they are. In this case, they are not talking to them because they want something from them; they are talking to them because they want to give something to them.
This is not to say that they won’t talk about themselves; what it comes down to is that one is not completely focussed on their own needs. The other person can then see that they are trying to connect with them, and this can then cause them to return the favour.
There is also the chance that this won’t happen, and that the other person won’t ask about one’s life. And while this may cause them to experience discomfort, it might not, and this is because one’s intention was to give and not to get.
As a result of this, it can be easier for them to handle the moments when someone doesn’t respond to them in a friendly manner. If, on the other hand, they were looking to receive something, it is going to be a lot harder for them to handle these kinds of experiences.
This is not to say that one should have relationships that are one-sided; what it comes down to is when one’s intention changes, their experiences can also change. If this was something that happened on a regular basis in one’s close relationships, for instance, it could be a sign that they need to walk away.
It could be said that when one speaks to someone for the first time, it is to be expected that it will be different to how it would be if they were talking to a close friend. For one thing, they don’t know the person, and so there is no reason why they should have any expectations.
A Different Approach
If one was to approach someone they haven’t spoken to before with the intention of giving them something, they are less likely to worry about how they will respond. They might not even think about whether the other person will accept them or not.
And because they are coming from a different place, they are also going to come across differently. Therefore, if the other person doesn’t respond in a positive way, it is not going to be the end of the world.
They simply wanted to make the other person feel better in some way, and when this isn’t possible, they are less likely to get caught up in what happens. The other person may sense that they are not trying to get anything from them, and this could make them feel more at ease in their presence.
When one can put their needs to one side, it is going to be a lot easier for them to focus on what they can give. Whereas, if they are generally focused on what they can get; it is going to be a lot harder for them to do this.
If one is used to focusing on what they can get, they may start to feel uncomfortable when they focus on what they can give. However, the more one does this, the easier it will be.
Through changing their approach, they are likely to find that they end receiving more than they did before, and this will then allow them to give more. This doesn’t mean that one has to give something physical either; it can just be a case of one being interested in another person.
Prolific writer, thought leader and coach, Oliver JR Cooper hails from the United Kingdom. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation; love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over seven hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behavior, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. Current projects include "A Dialogue With The Heart" and "Communication Made Easy."
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