How to become self confident

Its really sad how a search for an important topic like building self confidence on famous search engines yields articles with advice such as , repeat affirmations , learn to love yourself or set goals and achieve them.

While these advice might appear to be meaningful at the first glance on careful examination you will find that they are completely worthless and can even reduce your self confidence .

Before you know why these advice won't work you must first know few things about the operation of the subconscious mind.

How your mind works

* The subconscious mind hates to be lied to: If you tried to repeat affirmations that your subconscious mind doesn't believe you will end up feeling guilty and less confident. Once your subconscious mind finds you guilty of self deception it will believe more that you lack confidence and that you are just trying to lie to hide the truth

* Goal setting and achievements never work unless they target the right confidence field: If you feel that you are a failure because of getting poor grades then achieving the goal of being the most social person in college won't help you increase your confidence a bit. Unless you succeed in doing the thing that you failed to do your self confidence will remain low

* We can't accept things that can be changed: We can accept the death of a relative because we know for sure that he won't come back but we can never accept things that can be changed like our belly shape. The supporters of the love yourself as you are school aren't aware of the fact that the subconscious mind can never accept something that can be changed. In order to build self confidence you must first change what can be changed about yourself then accept what can't be changed

How to build confidence in yourself

Based upon the previous facts you should not lie to yourself by using affirmations to build self confidence but instead you must make real achievements in the fields that you have doubts about.

For example if you get good grades or do well in your work but can't make friends then focusing on learning how to make friends is the only way that will help you feel confident.

Forget about repeating affirmations because it will only harm your self confidence. One of the recent researches found that people who repeated confidence affirmations felt worse about themselves if they lacked self confidence while those who were already confident felt better.

For the first group the subconscious mind felt the deception and then responded by negative emotions while for the second group the subconscious mind was reminded by a good fact that it already knows so it responded with positive emotions.

You can fool anybody except your subconscious mind, if you want to build self confidence then forget about cheating and focus on methods that really work.