How to relieve the stress of a burning secret

The vast majority of the population has at least one secret hidden deep inside. If it’s a secret that has been kept there for an extended period of time, then there is likely to come a day when the stress of holding it in becomes too much to bear. It could be fear of the secret being discovered that causes the worry or even something that you think might bring shame to yourself or your family . Either way, when it gets to the point that holding in that secret begins to affect your life in negative ways, then it’s time to share it so that you can move on.

Sometimes just saying it out loud is enough to relieve a huge weight off your head and heart, but how do you go about doing that when you have kept it inside for so long? There are a number of ways to do so, and here are just a few that might help you lift that weight:

- One of the first things that you can do is admit it to yourself out loud. It seems odd that doing so would have any effect, but hearing yourself speak the secret that you have kept hidden can actually take away some of its power. Talk into a recorder of some kind and then play it back over and over until you feel that you will be comfortable sharing those words with others.

- It’s often easier to share a secret with someone that you don’t really know. That’s what makes talking to a therapist such a great way to relieve your burden. They will gladly listen to what you have to say without any trace of judgment, and will then provide some solutions that may help you forgive yourself and find a way to move on. They may also be able to help you find ways to be able to talk to those people that might be affected when your secret is finally revealed.

- If you have a secret that needs to be revealed to your family or a group of friends, then choose one person that you trust above all others to reveal your secret to first. If they understand your reasons for keeping the secret to yourself, then they are likely to stand with you when you do your reveal to everyone else. Having someone on your side when that takes place will give you the confidence to do so without feeling overly nervous.

- When it does come time to share your secret with others, make sure to do so at a time that is appropriate. Don’t just blurt out your secret in the middle of a family dinner, but instead think about gathering everyone together in a place where everyone is comfortable and where no-one is put in an awkward position. You may even want to do it in your own home as there is always the chance that people will not react well to your news. That way they can leave if they want to, rather than asking you to be the one who leaves.

- As painful as it can be to share your secret with every member of your family, it simply has to be done. Failure to do so can result in future problems if one of the people you didn’t tell finds out through another source. While not everyone may be able to be present when you divulge your secret, asking the people that you do tell to say nothing simply places your previous burden onto them. If you are going to share your secret, then be prepared to share it with everyone.

- There are secrets that really won’t affect anyone other than yourself and a single other person. The best example of that is in a relationship that you know could be in danger if you reveal the thing that you have been so tightly holding inside. It may be that you have a child from a previous marriage or that you had a one night affair that you realize was a huge mistake. Much like you would do when revealing that secret to a group of people, choose a good time and place to reveal to a spouse or partner. They will feel even worse if you spring the secret on them in a public place where a scene can easily be caused. Break the news to them gently and in a way that shows that you had very specific reasons for keeping it from them. There is no guarantee that doing so will make the situation any better, but there is no reason to make it more difficult.