How to Prevent Custody and Moving from Causing Emotional Damage to a Child

Custody and moving can be detrimental to a child if the parents do not take careful precautions in their planning. Children are very unreceptive to leaving their friends and their schools, especially when they are beginning to approach the teenage years. At this age they begin to have feelings of insecurity and fear they will not fit into a new school ad will not be able to make new friends easily. This is one of the reasons you may find the court choosing in favor of the parent that is planning to stay in the same area where the marital home is located.
Does this mean if you need to move closer to your family you will automatically lose custody of your children? This is a question that the court will have to decide. While remaining in the same area will be best for the children, the court will take other factors in consideration as well.
• How the children are doing in school. If they have been doing poorly, the court may feel a new school is in their best interest.
• The relationship with the parent that is staying behind will have a bearing on the court's decision concerning custody and moving. If the other parent has routinely been absent because of work or social commitments they may feel the children need a fresh start. This won't deter visitation rights, but it can definitely have an affect on the other party's decision regarding custody and moving.
• How easily the children adjust to new environments will also play a role in the court's decision. Children that adjust easily will have no problems adjusting to a new school and making new friends.
• The ability of the parents to do what is best for the children will also play a major role.
• Children who have shown signs of rebellion or are frequently in trouble may do better in a new environment.
In some sates joint custody is automatic although it doesn't mean the children have to spend time living with each parent. There is usually what is called physical custody, but the parents have to agree on specific provisions of the child's upbringing. With joint custody some states also require the custodial parent to obtain permission from the non-custodial parent before moving out of state unless it is job related. When it relates to the job of the custodial parent, custody and moving are not likely to be avoided. Sometimes parents will agree to allow the child to remain with the other parent—at least for the remainder of the school year—if the living conditions and childcare provisions are appropriate.
Before you make any decisions concerning custody and moving it is essential to consider the effects the move may have on the children. Certainly if you need to move because of your job or other financial reasons the need for financial security is greater than the need to keep your children close to their friends and school. However, you need to weigh all the facts first and decide if there is a way to avoid potential harm to the children because of custody and moving decisions.