How to Overcome Phone Call Anxiety

Phone call anxiety happens to all of us: we need to make an important call. We have the number. We are well aware of the purpose of the call. As our fingers commence dialing, we sense a small cyclone of winged creatures cavorting in our bellies. Our breath shortens and a cold sensation runs up the back of our neck to our seemingly electrified brains. We snap the phone shut and take a moment for the adrenaline to abate.

Luckily, you can overcome your phone call nerves. Here's how:

1. Remind yourself that your fear is a natural signal that you are embarking on something important to you. There is nothing wrong with you. Oscar-winning celebrities go through it too. EVERYONE 'feels the fear'. Wise people 'fear the fear and do it anyway' (which is also the title of a great series of books by Susan Jeffers, Ph.D.)

2. It might interest you to know that some people like to hear the nervousness in your voice – it makes them feel like a bigshot. It’s okay to be a bit in awe of someone you really admire -- so long as you are (a) reasonably prepared (b) calling for a legitimate reason, and (c) respectful of their time. (“Gosh, um, wow, you were really great in that blockbuster last year – what was the name of it?” is not a great way to initiate contact).

3. Preparation helps. Write out the purpose of your call – why are you REALLY making this phone call? (e.g. to advance my erstwhile career). What is/are the practical objective(s) of this phone call? (e.g. to get permission to send my script) Get clear on the ‘whys’ before you proceed.

4. Write a short script for your call – something upbeat and brief. “Hi, I’m ________. I’m calling for [this reason]. May I [achieve my objective]?”

5. Practice your phone call ALOUD, in front of a mirror. Rehearse until you feel comfortable saying the words. Try different versions – what if you get an answering machine? What if you get the target person directly, rather than their assistant? (The first time that happened to me, I was so surprised I slammed the phone down on a major agent).

6. BEFORE YOU DIAL: take deep breaths. Remind yourself of the REAL reason for this call. Smile. Get yourself in a positive, pleasant state of mind before you even think about picking up the phone.

7. As you dial: take deep breaths. Remind yourself of the REAL reason for this call. Smile. (There’s a reason why some corporations affix “Let them hear you smile” stickers to their phones).

8. If no-one answers, leave your prepared message. Be sure to include your contact information. (Again, something I’ve done more than once – left a great message and not realized until after I’ve hung up that I forgot to leave my phone number). When you do leave your phone number or email address, speak SLOWLY and clearly and repeat the info at the very end of your message so it’s easy to retrieve.

9. If someone answers, identify yourself and ask if this is a good time? If yes, proceed. If no, ask when would be a better time for you to call back. (It’s astonishing to me how few people actually do this. I recently had one person call me who called me out of the blue and launched immediately into a full scale discussion of her problem with zero consideration that there may have been other things requiring my attention at that moment).

10. After you’ve made your pitch, ask if they prefer you to follow up via phone or email and get that contact info.

11. At the end of your conversation THANK the person with whom you’ve been speaking. (If you got their email address, it’s a good idea to send a brief ‘thank you’ message that day).

12. After hanging up, congratulate yourself for making the call. It’s not easy but you did it! Reward yourself accordingly.

Activity: Think of an important phone call you have to make. (If you can't think of one, pretend you're about to call Oprah to pitch her an idea near and dear to your heart). Now: go through the steps above, AS IF you were going to make the call. If you wish, act it out -- pick up the phone and talk out loud AS IF you were really making the call.

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(c) Liisa Kyle, Ph.D.

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